Simplicity is the Felicity of Life

2007-08-12T18:06:00.000+08:00

我一生最爱的人, 变了.

终于, 又有机会见到他, 自以为会开始大哭, 但我们就像朋友一样, 闲聊. 原来在这些没见的日子, 我们都在爱听同样的歌.

我对他说, 我忘了. 他说他也是, 但他是老的忘记, 和我的年轻的忘记, 不一样. 我想了很久, 其中的意思, 猜不透. 有些时候, 不是你忘记, 就代表从来没有发生过.

很想抱着他, 不让他走, 眼泪决提. 但, 心里最深处却晓得, 一切都已经过去了. 过去了, 既然过去了, 为什么, 我还紧紧抓着, 不肯放手.

好想大声地告诉他, 林时伟..我真的还很爱你, 请你不要忘记我!

2007-08-05T23:01:00.000+08:00

I think..I'm in love.

He is a special, 24 years old guy. He is amazing.

2007-07-15T18:39:00.000+08:00

Was at one of my company's conference in SUNTEC city. This is what i sell.

First time go foot massage. Pain leh!

Phoebe jie was with me!

St James..Dragonfly

He is so shuai.

ktv-ing Carol is hiding.

So pretty. both of us!

2007-07-15T17:03:00.000+08:00

如果你爱我, 我是说真的爱我, 能不能不要放开我的手.

这一年多以来, 我经历了人生很大的转涙点, 包括见到的人和事. 我成长了.

可是, 为什么我的人生, 越来越乱.

I found out that you are going for movie with someone I know. I shouldn't be so bothered about it, but my heartaches. I do not know why. It has been nearly a year, and till now I still couldn't forget about you. What the f is happening.

I still couldn't believe I took half day leave just because of this. But I know I really cannot work, my tears cannot stop dripping.

I hate you, I don't know why you've already left, but you still remains in my heart.

喜新厌旧

2007-07-14T18:17:00.000+08:00

最近才发现, 自己是个喜新厌旧的人.

2007-07-01T21:19:00.000+08:00

亲爱的艾迪,

认识你, 有短短的一个多月, 对你的了解, 好少. 曾经听你说过, 你爱我, 不晓得, 有多真.

你的每一举手一投足, 都深深地吸引着我. 相约的每一个晚上, 说的每一句话, 你的每个眼神和动作, 都是我在见不到你的时候, 唯一的精神支柱. 因为, 它们是我在繁忙的工作行程里, 时常在细想的安慰. 无论多忙碌, 一想到你, 也会微笑. 什么不开心的事, 只要能再见到你, 就好像也没那么不开心了. 每当自己看到你的简讯, 或听到你说爱我, 都会热泪盈眶. 因为, 我爱的人, 也爱我. 但我却不敢对你说, 我爱你.

你是第一个, 会想听我说话的男生. 谢谢.

不知道从什么时侯开始, 已经失去想和你沟通的力气. 你冤枉我没经过你的同意,拿你的东西. 虽然只是件小事, 但你的口气伤了我很深. 不知不觉, 泪如雨下, 心就像被针扎那么痛. 我从来就不知道, 一个相识尚浅的友人, 能够让我如此,如此,如此的难过. 从那刻我在心里那么坚决地跟自己说, 我不会再让任何人有机会伤害我了.

我不想承认和刻意逃避的事, 很残酷地摆在眼前. 我们就好像是两个来自不同世界的人, 硬要凑在一起. 可能是因为好奇对方的世界, 或者根本就不甘寂寞. 我们是两道河流, 偶尔相流, 却不曾肩并肩.

我只是一个很简单的孩子. 也许外表不像, 但我真的只是个孩子. 我不知道外面是什么世界, 更不晓得自己要的究竟是什么. 我只知道, 一定很想, 很想, 被照顾和疼爱. 谁不想, 谁会拒绝那种爱. 你能给的, 却只, 很稀薄. 稀薄得, 用肉眼, 可能看不到. 我在你的世界里, 找不到我. 我的世界里, 可能也容不下你.

想念你的感觉, 一天天地加深, 对我来说, 这不是件好事.

我好累啊. 累得, 连呼吸也觉费力, 连说句话也不想. 我大多时间, 都一个人, 我真的谁也没有. 刚刚, 念了过去的日记, 我才发现, 爱情真的不适合我. 那么多的男生穿梭在我的生命里, 却没有一个, 能打动我的心. 那种爱情带来的幸福, 没办法超越带来的痛苦. 自己又脆弱得, 承受不了痛苦. 它带来的难过, 是我再想起, 都会害怕得汗毛直竖. 可想而知, 我是真的很害怕. 如果不是真心的, 求求你, 不要来犯我. 我不是其他人, 我不能承受, 我很懦弱.

对你写这些, 只是想让你知道, 你对我的重要, 还有, 我有多不愿意, 让你搞得我不开心. 如果你是真心爱我的, 就不要再让我少听到你的消息因为这样一来, 我会少了很多的不愉快. 拜托.

谢谢你, 愿意念我的信.

你将来, 一定可以很幸福. 加油.

香 (上)

2007-06-24T18:44:00.000+08:00

都快一年了. 还是忘不了.

他们说, 时间能治疗一切伤口. 我很相信. 但是, 一直到现在才发现, 有些人, 有些事, 是你可能用一辈子也忘不了的.

你现在, 过得好吗? 想起你的时候, 偶尔还会泛红眼眶, 掉下眼泪. 不晓得为什么, 还很想你. 在这快一年里, 有好多男生, 在我生命里穿梭. 他们都不能取代你, 不能取代我对你的爱.

你的身边, 也有另一个她了, 对吗? 我不会怨你, 不会怪你, 违背承诺. 因为, 你的幸福, 是我一生的愿望.

我还是最想念你总是在车里, 触摸我的头. 就好像, 你会一辈子照顾我一样. 那种受保护的感觉, 是我无法忘却的.

认识你, 是我庆幸的事. 因为, 最爱的人, 还是你.

谢谢你, 林时伟.

Bangkok trip

2007-05-27T02:27:00.000+08:00

Went Bangkok for 4 days 3 nights. Bangkok is so so so so so fun. Its like a paradise to me. Everything is much cheaper than Singapore, heels, jeans, shorts, and shirts. Really enjoyed myself there. Most importantly, I get to spend time with the two ladies. Meiyin and Vanessa, the two bitches I went with, they are amazing people. They cannot stop scolding me stupid and blur but I guess they just love me the way I am. :>

Well, this is a entry for me to remember what actually happened there. In case I forgot.

Anyway, I felt as if I live to shop. I LIVE TO SHOP. NO DOUBT.

I take the plane, when landing ear drum like very pain.

I think we're in Bangkok's international airport. I look so happy lo.

Queuing for taxi at the airport!

HAHA. So damn hungry! At one of bangkok's shopping mall de restaurant eat steamboat. Van captured this scene when Meiyin and me staring at the food. Thinking when is it going to be cooked. When I hungry, I'm also angry. So hungry=angry.

I'm like sweating, the air-con spoiled. Packing all the stuff I bought. I think I look like auntie lo. This should be the second day bah. Back from Chatuchak, so damn fucking asshole de fun ok. So many things and so cheap and so hot and so high. :>

We went to one restaurant to eat. Don't know at where. Forget le. The portion so damn small. After that I still not full lo.

These are all the pig's lungs all that. Its nice leh.

Me with no make-up, in hotel room. LIKE THAI SIAH! So disgusting, like ghost.

HAHAHA. Meiyin say this picture looks as if we are prositutes. lol.

My backview. In bangkok's street, carrying so many shopping stuff. Good job Van! Nice take.

Drinking in Bangkok. WAH LAO SO HAPPY SIAH.

HEEHEE. My eyes closed.

Don't give a shit. Just wanna eat. Japanese food!

WAH LAO. Our room so damn messy siah. 3 WOMEN Equals big mess. They so engross in the TV show Channel HBO. Discussing siah, I managed to capture this scene. Vanessa look so agitated. HAHA.

TWO AH LIAN.

Look like goldfish.

This baby so damn cute. I ask Vanessa to help me talk de. The waiter there say cannot take photos, we take secretly. They scared we bomb the place. Hee.

Breakfast at hotel. Meiyin say I eat very slow. Need them to wait for me. he.

Hotel Lobby!

Eating at the airport. So hungry.

Going back le! Bought so many things! The purple bag is mine.

In cab going to Bangkok airport.

I so happy.

Right side are the things I bought, left side is Van's.

I bought so many shoes.

Thats my bed, the hotel room, view is so nice.

I look so auntie.

I too sleepy le.

SO TIRED OK!

Put on Van's Cap!

Bangkok is so fun...I hasn't uploaded all the pictures.

I want to go again....

2007-05-09T02:19:00.000+08:00

I was just thinking, will one become blind if he/she cry too much?

Went Sentosa with QIU QIU, my bestest friend last Friday. Had a good talk with her. My mood was so bad. I just felt like crying and crying non-stop. Though in the photos I'm smiling lah.

Ben and Murara, they are so great people. Miss Murali alot, wondering how is he doing.

Eliz is so cute. Love her to bitz.

I was so happy in genting, not because of anything. But because of the person I'm with.

I want to smile as happily as this from now on.

I lie in bed every night, turning and tossing, can't get to sleep. Can't help thinking of the words you've mentioned to me, and the memories.

I know guys like girls whom forget fast. I want to forget as fast as I can.

It seems to be a vicious cycle, every failed relationship. There is something very very wrong with me. VERY VERY WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I better spend some time focusing on other things.

If I still cry, I will poke my own eyes. :)

Happy Lunar New Year

2007-02-18T02:06:00.000+08:00

Still couldn't put it down.

Still think of him everyday.

I understand what the world is all about, able to come and go like we've never known each other before.

But Keegan Lim, I used to hate you. I feel so much like telling you I hate you, for lying to me. But hahahahaha, I know you've already forgotten my existence.

I still need to think about him all over again every single day, and cry like he has just left yesterday.

Huh, my colleagues told me, I look like someone without a soul, and that I look sad?????????? When I laugh everyday like nobody's business???

Is this love or what, than too sad le bah.

God ah God, please help me forget all about his existence too. Nobody loves me as much as you do!!!!!

Already tried making everything seems like nothing, yah he is nothing to me.

New Year Resolution

2007-01-02T01:11:00.000+08:00

OMG ITS 2007. If I'm not wrong, its a pig's year.

OMG Pig of all animals. I hate pigs. They are fat.

Anyway, whats my new year resolution. I hate this.

Number 1...Go for more yoga sessions. Yah, errr...at least twice a week. Thats best. Shed my tummy fats. I hate my tummy, I hate my tummy.

Number 2...Read more books. Need to visit the library at least once every two weeks.

Number 3...Listen to more music. English songs. R&B..HIP hop..yea.

Number 4...Forget him. I believe I can do it. lalalalalala

Number 5...Do not get involve in any relationships of any sort. Girls can.

Number 6...Do not trust anybody. Even the freaking ant on the bloody floor. I won't believe them if they promise not to invade my house anymore. I will just beat them to death. WAHAHAHAHA. There is only two person in this world I will trust. They are working with me man! YO!

Number 7...Quit smoking!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD THIS IS TOUGH. Time, I need time.

Number 8...Save up! My dear girl, stop buying Gucci bags and spend like its free. Since you are spending, they are not bloody hell FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least save $100 a month lah, hello..hundred bucks is like less loh. Ok, at least $200. I'M JUST BEING REALISTIC MAH. Its not even 10 percent of my pay lo, shit.

Number 9...I think I need to get a degree. Haiz. I think I have to.

Number 10...Lastly, try my best to enjoy life alone. I still love you, Mummy and Papa.

Number 11...Try and love those people who talks behind me. I'm not as important as what your think I am. Until your can spend time gossiping about me. Let me off, I'm only a naive, ignorant and young girl.

The summary I think should be:"Get my life straight."

What is happening to my life in 2006 is the past. ITS THE FREAKING PAST. DAMN, TO HELL WITH 2006.

2006-06-17T02:06:00.000+08:00

I'm so so so in love with my boyfriend. He is the most wonderful guy in the whole wide world. He is the most generous, most kind, most handsome, most caring, most meticulous and most knowledgable person I've ever met. He is amazing.

Falling in love is just great.

However, its really difficult for me to be satisfied because there is so much of thinking inside my head.

Loving someone is not easy.

Can I just get married now?

:>

永远

2006-06-05T00:16:00.000+08:00

如果要用'永远'造一个句子, 那该怎么造?

<我永远都爱吃魔鬼鱼>, 还是 <他永远也改不了坏习惯>?

可是, 真的是永远吗?

我发觉, 原来, 人很爱说永远.

"我永远都爱你, 想永远跟你在一起."

其实都没有错. 只要你真心爱对方, 一定都会要和她/他永远在一起. 可是仔细想想, 永远, 你知道是什么吗? 是到死吗? 那还真的很久啊!

我跟很多身边的人说过永远: "我们永远都是好朋友." 可, 已没再联络. " 我要永远跟你在一起, 到我停止呼吸." 一年后, 分手.

未来的事, 我们都预料不到.

我很想对所有, 对他们承诺过永远的人, 说对不起. 因为, 真的不是永远.

可能在当时, 是真的很想到永远. 就只是在当时.

所以, 一个人要经历几次永远, 才会找到真爱?

如果永远真的那么遥远, 那海誓山盟都是谎言.

2006-05-19T00:58:00.000+08:00

Finished my attachment already.

I read my previous posts and feel quite stupid. My attachment job is ok and I can't believe I complaint so much than.

Having a break now and it is time to catch up with my friends.

With Carol, Vanessa, QiuMong and MeiYin.

Time to swim more, exercise, read more books and clean up.

I feel so stupid myself. I just felt empty, feel that I'm not myself anymore.

Looking into the mirror, I saw myself, but I couldn't recognise her anymore.

2006-04-23T14:27:00.000+08:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love languages are probably
Acts of Service and Quality Time.

Complete set of results

Acts of Service:		8
Quality Time:		8
Receiving Gifts:		7
Words of Affirmation:		6
Physical Touch:		1

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

2006-04-09T01:34:00.000+08:00

笨笨地, 离开了在这世上最爱我的人.

问过自己, 开心吗.

不开心.

空荡荡的, 虚无缥缈的感觉, 原来不好受.

很想大哭, 把所有的难过都发泄出来, 挤得很辛苦, 却没有一滴眼泪.

原来, 心已经麻木了, 感受不到, 情感纠集.

无论自己做了什么, 都得不到快乐.

在别人眼中, 我永远都只是个追求物质享受, 贪幕虚荣的人.

某些程度上, 我是. 但, 我也需要爱, 我需要朋友.

谢谢你, 秋梦, 永远都是最明白我的人.

因为我最像个植物人, 需要有人照顾, 没有反抗能力.

你说你爱我, 但愿意成为那个人吗?

2006-03-18T02:31:00.000+08:00

通常, 我最累的时候, 也是彻夜难眠的时候. 奇怪.

很想好好的会一会周公, 和他谈一谈心事. 没有人能听时, 只有他明白.

可是见不到他, 只让自己累上加累.

我曾经幻想, 神在创造我的时候, 一定在哭, 一定很头痛.

规划我的人生时, 他认真想过了吗?

应该至少打了草稿，因为我还活着。

小时候，看过神雕侠侣，爸爸对我说，我长大之后会明白现实中的爱情，和书上写的，不一样。
骗人的。如从没爱过，哪来明白？

我一直在寻找爱情的理由。怎么才是真正的爱情。

那可能是无私的奉献, 没有要求的牺牲。不知道。

前途一片渺茫，脑海里不停闪现着过去幼稚的潮气。后悔永远都是多余的情绪，朝向目标一点点的迈进，是唯一明智的做法。我想，我也会能这么做，吧。

伤痕累累地走着这条永远不属于我的人生道路，二十年的眼泪，白流了。

2006-03-04T02:45:00.000+08:00

This is only the first fucking week. WTF. TIME IS MOVING SLOW.

My attachment is damn fucking stress lah, I'm dying already. Doing telemarketing is hell on earth, imagine, hell is right now on earth. OH MAN.

What if I cannot generate any leads or fall back on target? F grade for me??? Might be...

But I'm focusing right now on my aim, that is to get out of that place after 10 weeks.

I hate security systems right now.
BETTER BUY IT OR ELSE I BREAK INTO YOUR COMPANY AND BURN EVERYTHING UNTIL YOU COME BEGGING ME FOR SITE SURVEY AT ANY COST.

My manager is stress up she kept scolding vulgarities, alot which I never heard before.

And I've to wear formal Monday to Thursday. What is life for?

My complexion is turning bad, no mood for masks, only on friday. Until just now, I scubbed my face like mad, its just not clean enough.

Too tired every single weekday and not enough fucking sleep.

SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP

I thought I forgot to spell it.

11 May 2006 faster come so that I can get out of bitter sea.

10th March is coming, I'm going to be a old auntie soon. I don't want to be twenty!!!!!!!!!!!!

It simply means that I've to start using anti-aging masks already. FUCK THAT LAH I'M NOT EVEN AGING NOW.

Thank you:

Carol for your pouch, I need that really.
Suan Swan for your Fancl cleansing oil, I really wanted to buy but got no money.
Joycelyn for your lovely top, my mum and I think it looks elegant.

People, life is just plain sad right now for me.

You know what to do?

2006-02-28T21:58:00.000+08:00

This is only the second day and I'm crying like mad.

My tears are threatening to flow like crazy when I'm at the office, but I tolerated it in my throat. Its a bad feeling - want to cry but cannot cry.

I hope the bus moves faster to AMK MRT Station so that I can cry, I also hope the MRT could faster reach Yishun. But they seems to move slowly

Could no longer take it, I shed tears in the MRT Train. I literally ran home and cry in my bed. Until now, I cannot stop crying.

I feel so useless that I'm performing the worst in attachment right now, I feel disappointed in myself.

I think I'm having depression. Should I see a doctor now.

Failing attachment is not good, but I've screwed my whole poly life up in a big way.

Time pass fast please, ipp faster pass please.

2006-02-27T00:06:00.000+08:00

Quoted from this site:

G33K NOTE: What the fuck is the IT department doing in NYP? Are they oblivious to the fact that there is a big loophole in their database servers, or are they happily wanking off to the home-brewed videos?

WHAT THE FUCK. CCB. IT HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH NYP LAH.

2006-02-26T03:15:00.000+08:00

I feel quite agitated after knowing about the "scandal" of infamous SEX VIDEO.

I'm totally unsure about the whole incident and the truth behind. But it is very disturbing to know that my school is involved.

WHY MUST PUT NYP INFRONT OF THE TAMMY??? or behind, or even mention??

I seriously feel sorry for her because I heard that her phone got stolen by some1 and the video of her having sex with the boyfriend got circulated on net. And it might have been spread in US first than Singapore. MY GOODNESS. HOLY SHIT. At the first place why she record that kinda video in her hp? HAIZZZZZ.....BIGGY HAIZ HAIZ.

Just hope that she is coping well with it, because it is really bad of that person to do this kinda thing to someone. She is my schoolmate afterall (I DO NOT KNOW HER AT ALL ANYWAY).

BUT WHY THE FUCK DID THAT PERSON PUT NYP? WHY NYP???????? Cannot put other stuff like her cca or her hobby or whatever meh.

NYP IS MY SCHOOL *sob sob* Though I'm graduating soon, sorry I feel ashamed.

Everybody was like: "you know about your school the sex video anot? that girl from YOUR SCHOOL one you know YOUR SCHOOL YOUR SCHOOL."

YAH FUCKING MY SCHOOL, AND I ONLY HEARD ABOUT IT LIKE FEW DAYS AGO. IT HAS GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.

I'm afraid to tell people I'm from NYP.

I feel so sad. I've to say something good about MY SCHOOL.

The lecturers and tutors are great. I admit I learnt alot from the TEP program that only NYP has that other polys do not have. Although they give us alot of projects to do, but I know SP and NP has more and what they have to study is more in-depth than us, much more. I've got good friends from the other polys, and they suffer much more than us. REALLY.

NYP is a good school although they don't allow us to wear slippers. Wearing slippers is not good, portray a sloppy image.

NYP IS GREAT. I LOVE NYP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REALLY LAH I'M PRAISING NYP LAH OKIE, NOT BEING SARCASTIC LAH.

THE power of internet is so great. Apart from the NYP thingy, that person who circulated the video is totally pervertic and really bad bad bad lah. Please do not do things like that.

We really live in a sick world.

2006-02-24T22:58:00.000+08:00

I'm looking forward to the end of attachment already, when it haven't even started yet.

I think I have an uncurable illness, might be cancer.

The cancer is named, keep-on-worrying-eyelashes-not-long-enough symptom and keep-on-feeling-fat sickness.

I hate fake eye-lashes because it makes my real eye-lashes drop.

And why the Indians and Malays have sooooooo long eye-lashes??????????????????

I'm jealous of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like plucking their eye-lashes for myself to use.

I spent like 15 minutes a day continously brushing them (with 3 different mascara), and I still think they are short. Real short and straight. FUCK UP EYE-LASHES.

And I only eat one meal a day. Why am I still so fat??????????

WHY WHY WHY WWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Anyway, why when females come menses will have alot of pimples. WHY??????????

THE CONCLUSION IS: "Why I don't HAVE COMPLEXION AND LOOK like Patty Hou or Shu Qi????????"

:)

2006-02-23T03:06:00.000+08:00

This is so damn funny I laugh like mad. WAHAHAHAHA

This AND THIS is so high! I want to do a video like this too! SO HIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO is WILLING TO RECORD WITH ME..WOOOOHOHOHO

Saw this quite long ago and it is still funny. IT IS SO GOD DAMN FUNNY, THEY ARE SO CUTE!

They are so cute! I like them I like them I like them...Back Dormitory boys.

alone but not lonely

2006-02-20T03:36:00.000+08:00

During the 1 week study break, I never stepped out of my house at all, only on Valentine's day.

If my mobile phone ever rings, it would only be Cleveland and no one else. I've seen some of my school mates' blog and realised that I have actually no friends at all.

Although I'm alone, all by myself, but I'm not lonely. I've got no feelings at all.

Staying at home all this while and struggling to memorise all the notes made me think alot about myself, and my life.

If it was in the past, secondary school times, I'll be darn afraid if for 1 whole day nobody sms/call me, or if I never go out at all. But now, I like it. I've changed.

I think its because I'm self-centered right now, and live in my own world. Really. Zhen De.

I know what people in school like to call me..bimbo. They feels that I'm someone who only cares about my appearance and don't study at all, don't do projects and always go clubbing. -_-''' I don't know why but my way of describing abit funny. I know they talk alot behind my back, they says I'm useless, and have poor results. I remembered clearly, I got 28/100 for business finance ICA and the tutor flash in OHP in red my marks and I've got the lowest in the whole class. I can see in their eyes, they look at me with despise.

But I don't care leh. Why huh????? I used to care alot about how people feels about me, but not now. Why? Its kinda weird.

SO WHAT YOU'VE GOT GOOD RESULTS HUH? SO THAT, FUCKING SO WHAT. Are you prettier than me? Do you have long eye-lashes like me? You know how to draw eye-brow anot? You know how pretty am I? I look like SHU QI AND JOLIN TSAI you know? HUH HUH YOU KNOW THEM ANOT??

Just joking. I mean the part about me looking like Shu Qi and Cai Yi Ling.

I used to have severe depression and cries every single day. I feels that I'm alone, and is a failure in relationships, no friends, no aim in life, nobody likes me. Now, even if I want to cry, no tears come out.

Now, I don't care, I don't care if I've got no friends, I don't care. WAHAHAHAHAHA

-_-'''

Its really difficult to say, that its all part of growing up. And in less than a month's time I would be 20 years old. FUCKING HELL.

I won't be nine-teen anymore, I won't be a teenager anymore. I'm going to be a freaking old twen-ty years old aunty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This makes me cry, and tears could be easily formed like that. I'm going to have wrinkles and everything, so sad.

2006-02-16T02:42:00.000+08:00

Everybody is talking about v-day now.

Being single is better lah really, because hor, at least you no need to think about what to get for your boyfriend/girlfriend or spent any money. Good right.

I receive flowers sent to my house on the 13th. Roses..but they made me sneeze.

People said that valentine's day without flowers are not valentine's day. YAH, WHO SAID THAT. SHOULD EXECUTE HIM. They are darn expensive especially during the season, and real flowers will die, fake flowers is ermm..errr...er..it..represents fake lah ok FAKE.

My roses are 11 stalks of real ones with one stalk of fake one.

Means true love with one that will never dies, and that one is him. Meaningful? Yah.

Singles should never go out on a Valentine's day unless you have a good heart, hellooo everywhere else are filled with couples!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or izzit only the place I went to?

I was at the cityhall that area, esplanade and stuff, and so many couples loh.

Most of the girls have flowers or rather roses in their hand. DAMN HAO LIAN LOH THEIR FACES. And the way they look at people. I swear they are thinking: "see! my boyfriend give me flowers, so romantic right? your boyfriend never give you? so ke lian."

FUCK YOU, MY FLOWERS ARE AT HOME OKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)

And I also gotten a $200++ necklace from SK...WAHAHAHAHAHA. -_-'''

Thank you Cleveland. The dinner is exquisite and luxurious. (like tpdd report) It was the Village Restaurant at ChinaSquare.

No photos, no digital camera.

Exams are coming and I studied abit only, looking forward to the end of them. HATE NYP TO THE CORE. :>

2006-02-04T02:12:00.000+08:00

My ipp attachment placing is out and it is a company call Tyco Fire and Securities something.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT IS AT ANG MO KIO. SO FUCKING GOD DAMN NEAR TO MY HOUSE! (not really THAT near until so near but it is quite near)

WAH LAO, I CANNOT BELIEVE LOH. God is so good to me, too bad He don't eat incense, if not I can burn him some.

Hope I won't be late and everything for this attachment. It is my last try anyway, but really wish that things will go my way, although it really rarely does.

My ang bao money only has around $280++. And I've spent $109 on a Adidas jacket and around $50 on ma-kan. This is so sad. Money not enough.

I met my dad at my big aunt house for bai nian session yesterday and was lectured by him for approximately 2 hours. Thats because I told my step-mum I bought a adidas jacket for $109 thats why no money to take cab on that day and he overheard it. And its just $109 loh. He say I'm too brand-conscious, spent too much money. And he also said that its no use to just have the appearance but no brains. -_-'''

Why does the whole world think that MEI NU like me have no brains. (just assume I'm one for 2 seconds can)

Appearance-conscious and materialistic or pretty/shuai doesn't mean she/he have no brains.

But intelligent people usually are ugly (its too harsh a word,but thats what I think from the bottom of my heart) thats why I'm stupid. no lah, I'm not.

You always have to pay a price for a good point you have. Like if you are pretty, you might have bad breath, if you are a genius at studying, you might be lousy at sports. It will never be perfect.

There are some people who are pretty/shuai and brainy at the same time. You just have to scold vulgarities at them because God spent a little more time on them, not you.

But my dad is great, he always tell me use-ful stuff, although he use to torture me with all the chinese stuff when I'm young. I could still remember I use to memorise up to 10 Tang poems under my dad's pressure. This is not all. Imagine telling a primary school kid to do that, and watch Beijing opera and read San Guo Yan Yi. -_-''' Now I can only remember 5 of the Tang poems, one of them is the Yue Fei, Man Jiang Hong, its damn long ok.

Now, back to projects.

2006-01-30T03:11:00.000+08:00

New Resolution PLAN for the Chinese Lunar Year 2006

I plan to:

1) Not use too much strength when removing mascara. Sit down and calmly swipe with appropriate gesture. I'm always in a rush and don't treat them with care. Retribution is coming, they are dropping.

2) Not spend more than $100 on facial products a month. (Will be swaived, if found any favourite brands on promotion or just got vouchor from Starhub)

3) Not buy apparels without thinking for at least 10 minutes. (Will be swaived, if its the last item)

4) Draw up schedule for studying or doing of projects and stick to it. (Will be swaived, if last episode of favourite drama serial is showing)

5) Buy more heels will ya? And stop buying le coq sportif or Adidas Sneakers! Okie, 3 or 4 will do.

6) Read more books okie? Especially Chinese books, your Chinese isn't that perfect yet.

7) Watch lesser, like less than 6 hrs TV a day. This is hard.

8) Swim at least once a week? (Will be swaived if menses came or raining days)

9) Do not be late for lessons or work again. ERMMM..yah.

10) Start following my resolution and stop making unrealistic goals.

****This is not working, I'm still very stress. International Business stinks****

2006-01-29T18:37:00.000+08:00

Today is 初一, and I'm not going 拜年 at all.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

But I got no New Year! I'm so pathetic!

I bought one dress specially for wear today to go 拜年, but in the end I cannot go. Because I have so many projects to do! After slogging for two days, I've only completed one of the individual report!!!!!!!!!!!

Now I'm only starting to do another one which is the International Business ICA 1.

I feel so pityful when everybody is going to celebrate Chinese New Year and I'm staying at home all alone infront of my damn com.

Nevermind, tommorrow still can go 拜年 right?

But I think the feeling isn't the same anymore. Coz 初一, is like the 一, the one, you know the ONNNNNNEEEEEEEEE, ONE! The first day of Chinese New year loh.

And I cannot believe I never go to 春到河畔 at all, nor Chinatown!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I used to be so enthusiastic in celebrating. Now I've got no mood at all. AT ALL OKIE. AT ALL AT ALL AT ALL.

I just found out that I've got no time to do projects at all. WHY AM I STILL HERE BLOGGING AND COMPLAINING AWAY. I'M TOO STRESS ALREADY.

I need more ang baos to buy new clothes. *sob sob*

2006-01-26T03:20:00.000+08:00

I suspect (not suspect is surely, confirm) that the school is trying to torture us. Are they sadist?

Chinese New Year is like around the corner and I can't feel any atmosphere of it at all. I absolutely can't feel that our traditional big occassion is a few days away only.

There is no 气氛 at all loh!

And sucky NYP is stuffing us with all the project deadlines, I got no idea why they have to do this to us, this has never happened before.

I can't even celebrate Chinese New Year in peace. Imagine going bai nian in relatives' house and writing drafts/schedules for reports to be handed in. WHAT THE FUCK???????

No need to go bai nian already loh, no need to go 春到河畔 already loh, no need to get alot of ang baos already loh, WAH LAO OII....................

I need to release my anger if not I will explode with stress and die vomitting blood.

Its not the certificate that we are studying for. A piece of paper is not worth what I'm doing right now. Its the process, not the destination. But I'm not enjoying the process loh. -_-'''

But I can't believe in 2 weeks time is the end of my last year in NYP. I should be feeling happy, but no. I felt empty.

My new year clothes are pathetic. I've only bought one black 3/4 pants from Zara, black heels from OG, black cropped top from Far East and green retro top from Far East. Its like only one set loh, I have no money, I feel so poor.

2006-01-21T02:19:00.000+08:00

Chinese New Year is coming, and I've absolutely no time to go shop for new clothes to wear.

Only bought one black pants from Zara and bag from Cleveland.

Can't God just burn NYP? Why is He not doing it?

I can't believe any students in NYP will say they love their school. HEELLLLLLLOOOOO HOW CAN ANYONE LOVE THIS KIND OF SCHOOL? FUCKING DISGUSTING SCHOOL WHO ONLY WANTS TO CHEAT OUR MONEY.

*FUMING MAD.

Since the starting of year 2006, I've been fucking suey until rot.

1) I never go for Customer Relationship Management ICA and I cannot go for re-test. 15% just gone like that.

2) The fucking Chee Bye Canon Vice-president never reply my email, and I missed the presentation and never hand in report. I hope he doesn't see this.

3) I dropped 2 of my eyelashes while removing mascara. *tears flooding my eyes*

4) My computer kena virus, very li hai one, whole pc cannot work at all. Luckily all my reports in thumbdrive.

GOU SUEY LE BAH.

I'm damn worried about my studies. I've been working hard for all my projects but getting nothing in return.

I can't wait to leave NYP, I don't want to study at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE I HATE TO STUDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I still have to, and learn to be passionate in it. Just complaining. :<

2006-01-19T04:30:00.000+08:00

Why is NYP not burn yet?

Why are there so many projects and tests?

Why is all my tutors so jian?

I'm having hallucinations when studying, hearing alot of people talking. Am I crazy?

I've had enough, never been so stress before in my entire life. I feel like giving up. Don't care everything and just sleep, and sleep and sleep and sleep.

2006-01-10T03:45:00.000+08:00

Up-coming phone, N92

It weighs 191 grams, quite heavy hor. My 7610 is only 118 grams. But nowadays, the bigger phone you have, shows that you more rich.

Got camera and can watch TV...............

This is so high.........

I will buy it!!!!!!!!!!
I will!

Within 2 years.

2006-01-10T03:11:00.000+08:00

I copied from Kin wai's Blog:

“Procrastination is like masturbation; it may feel good at the time but you're only screwing yourself”

And in praise of procrastination, I present you the…The Procrastinator's Creed!

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though infinite smally small, is not exactly zero.
8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done prior to beginning the greater task.
12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is wait/plan/plan.
13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles (the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.
15. I will put off until tomorrow what could be done today.
16. I know that it is not procrastination if you plan to do it at the last minute.
17. I will... umm... umm... whatever, I'll finish this later.
18.

Great right. It seems to be that I've been doing projects and study for tests quite last minute, and I've got no idea why. Maybe because I'm afraid to know that, even after studying in advance, I still got poor grades. Prove that, I'm really stupid.

At least if I studied last minute and score poor grades, still got excuse for myself: I study last minute what, never really study what, dats why fail lah.

Do you understand?

Although that, I do studied in advance and prepared myself. I "ask my heart no regrets (问心无愧)" because I've done my best for them. Even if I failed, that is my standard, what the fuck I want.

Hope that my group members give me any parts last minute. I don't like last minute work, don't delay! I'm also those, just do it, anyhow do also got something. But what is it when nothing is done??????? *sob sob*

Everybody have their committments, work, television, partners/friends or family. I have mine! I have so many tv programs to watch, SCV is like great.

The point is, plan my time and stick to it.
8pm-210am is always TV time.

2006-01-08T05:04:00.000+08:00

In this new year, there are some significant people whom I want to thank. Hope they see this, hoho.

Thank you to: Carol Oh, for all the understanding and for listening out to my problems. Hope that in the new year, I will have the chance to be beside you, when you have any troubles.

Thank you to: Vanessa, for waking me up, encouraging me and caring for me. You make lectures and tutorials fun everyday.

Thank you to: PeiMing, for all the help in school and also listening out to my nonsenses.

Thank you to: ZuXian, for hearing all my nonsenses and tolerating all my craziness. You make me happy every time I see you. Hope that we will have the chance to hang out in this 2006.

Thank you to: Wendy and XiuXian, for making school fun for me to attend, haha. I enjoy your company alot.

Thank you to: Sherri, for being my friend!

Thank you to: Hwa Qi, for being my friend and always so concerning!

Thank you to: Sheila, for listening out to me, asking me out and caring for me. Hope that 2006 will be a year for us to improve our friendship.

Thank you to: Meiyin, for spending quality time with me, tolerating my bad shopping habits and listening to my nagging. Hope that we can go out more often!

Thank you to: Kin Wai, for being my friend and listening to me also. Hope that in the new year, we will talk more, hee.

Thank you to: EnYi, for teaching me how to sing, and listening to me.

Thank you to: Qiu Mong, for being my best friend, understanding me and never fails to be with me whenever I need someone. Also for being the person, who know me the most in this world. Hope in 2006, we will still be the best of friends.

Thank you to: Cleveland, for your love! Hope that in 2006, we can fulfil our dreams.

Thank you to: God. For putting these people in my life. All those who had helped me, and make me never lonely. For making my mum healthy, and my dad, I dunno how is he.

But God, I think you can do better this year. By:

1) Making my dad rich and healthy.
2) Making my dad and me, relationship closer.
3) Making me skinny, like 35kg.
4) Making my eyes smaller, eyelashes longer by 10cm, cheekbone and nose higher.
5) Letting me enroll in NTU or SIM for bachelor in Translation and Interpretation, Chinese language.
6) Making me as tanned as Louis Khoo.
7) Making the whole of nyp explode when nobody is inside. (guess this is the job of Satan, but I think its a good deed, so hope you consider.)
8) Making my mum happy and rich.
9) Making me filthy rich to buy all branded goods I want.
10) Making me not forgetful, have sense of direction and not stupid.

You can right? I read bible everyday and pray to you lah okie? ERMMM..1 hour everyday can? Please?

2006-01-06T23:23:00.000+08:00

Chinked out.

Lee Hom's latest Album. I don't know if its out yet, I think so. This album is fabulous. I just saw his interview on SCV and I think he is great.

I heard one of the songs in his album, "在梅边 (Zai Mei Bian)." This song incorporates the beijing opera which is, "昆曲". I remembered hearing this opera long time ago when my dad used to train me with China culture. I hated beijing opera than, when my dad force me to memorise all the Tang poems, Chinese proverbs and multiply time table.

When I heard this song, combined with hip hop music, but with beijing opera rhythme, I was LIKE, OH MY GOD. It is totally different from the opera!

His songs are great. Especially when he loves Chinese culture so much so that he wants to spread this type of music around the world. To show them that, we Chinese, Asians, can do it too. We are not hip-hop'ers wanna be or westerners wanna be or posers!

I hate it when we Singaporeans ourselves said that Chinese singers are posers. They are just trying to spread their music and fulfil their dream.

There are Rain, J-lim (Korean Singer), and Li-yan (Expertise in Beijing Opera) 's music inside his album!

HELLOOO, IT IS RAIN, NOT ANYBODY ELSE!

And also Ou-Yang Jing's music! HELLOOO YOU DON'T KNOW WHO IS SHE? I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!

She is the only Chinese ABC who wins the championship of America's Rap Competition for 7 times. In the whole of Amercia okie.

We are Chinese, so support chinese music industry. They are great.

2006-01-04T19:21:00.000+08:00

The results of your analysis say:

You plan ahead, and are interested in beauty, design, outward appearance, and symmetry. You are a shy, idealistic person who does not find it easy to have relationships, especially intimate ones. You are diplomatic, objective, and live in the present. You are a talkative person, maybe even a busybody! You enjoy life in your own way and do not depend on the opinions of others.

What does your handwriting say about YOU?

2006-01-03T03:03:00.001+08:00

I read XiaXue's blog and is totally mad.

How can those foreign workers anyhow touch girls, and molest them. FUCK SIAH. I can't imagine if I were there and get molested by them, I will sure get jailed for assulting.

When I read in people's blog that they write about guys who tried to get to know them or molested by people, I would think that they are trying to show off. Trying to tell people that they are chio, that's why got people want to approach them or get molested.

I will think that:" Yah lah chio lah, everybody want to know you and touch you ok."

But its fucking not true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Those perverts or foreign workers who also want to molest one okie! Even if you look hideous and super ugly, or down syndrome, they will still want to molest you as long as you have a vagina.

And there are alot of guys with bad taste in the world today.

Last time when I went Zouk, there is this ang moh guy, who looks quite gentlemanly was dancing behind me. It was super crowded, and I was separated from my friends. I turned to face him because I was looking for my friends. All of a sudden, he used both of his hands to hold my arms(sort of, I don't really know how to describe the action) and asked me:"babe, are you alone?" Something like that, I can't really remember.

FUCK, I HATE PEOPLE TO TOUCH ME.

Immediately, I swing my arms and gave him a hard stare, and say:"Please leave me alone." And squeeze my way, move to other places.

And in crowds, pervertic people will take advantage of the surroundings and start to show their demon claws.

Why go to these places and let people touch siah.

New Year eve is nice in Pasir Ris Chalet, there is not alot of people there, but I didn't went to the beach though.

My new year resolution:

1) Get a good office job with at least a pay of $1500, with good prospect and able to get alot of working experience. Work for one year.

2) Save hard for traveling.

3) Study in SIM, 中英翻译文凭课程.

4) Exercise at least 3 times a week.

5) Have an healthy diet.

Don't care about poly already, coz it sucks.

2006-01-03T02:41:00.000+08:00

Hey people, help me do survey lah, especially females!

Help me do lah can anot, please lah, just click only, very fast one.

And remember to do Question 5 okie..

http://www.questionpro.com/akira/TakeSurvey?id=328342

2005-12-30T02:17:00.000+08:00

Please help me to do this survey on the brand "Ettusais".
It is for my damn project and very important..preferably those who have used products from this brand before. Please?????????????????????????

http://www.questionpro.com/akira/TakeSurvey?id=328342

2005-12-29T04:36:00.000+08:00

Nothing to do and don't want to do project.

: THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
1. Gold-fish 2.Ah Xiang 3. SU XIANG

:THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD
1.Xiang er 2. Ah lian 3. SU XIANG

:THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1.No SCV 2. TV Spoil 3.Cockcroaches

:THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1.Water 2. Toilet 3. Night cream

:THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1.Shorts 2.Shirt 3. Hair band

:THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS
1.Zhou Jie Lun 2.Rain 3. Ah mei

:THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS
1.An Jing 2.I DO 3.Wu Shuo Wei

:THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
1.Freedom 2.Care 3.Tacit Understanding

:THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OTHER SEX THAT APPEALS TO YOU
1.Hair 2.Eyes 3.Character/Personality

:THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES
1.Swim 2.Sleep 3.Watch TV

:THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1.Eat stingray 2. Cut my hair 3. Cut my nails

:THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING/HAVE CONSIDERED
1.Hair-stylist 2.Writer 3.Journalist

:THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION
1.China 2.Hong Kong 3. Korea

:THREE KIDS NAMES YOU LIKE
1.Xiao Yao 2. Xun Huan 3. Zui Ming

:THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1.Be the most simple person 2.Find out what is my calling 3. Love before

:THREE MALE CELEB CRUSHES
1.Stephen Chow 2.Rain 3.Tony Leung

Merry christmas

2005-12-26T03:14:00.000+08:00

I don't celebrate Christmas because I am not a christian.

I just went to Cleveland's friends gathering. They are real nice people and I actually received gifts from them. I reached home at 6+am and couldn't get enough sleep. My health is ruined.

They kept teaching me how to play dai dee but I still don't know how to play dai dee. I'm fated not to gamble in my whole life. Because I only know how to play Black Jack, and I will not gamble no matter what. Anyway, I feel so stupid.

HEEELLLLLLLLLOOOOOOO WHERE ARE ALL MY CHRISTMAS GIFTS?????? WHERE ARE ALL MY FRIENDS? SOB SOB.

:)

2005-12-23T03:36:00.000+08:00

有时候, 我想起爱情, 觉得十分矛盾.

明明应该是甜蜜, 充满幸福的, 为什么, 现实, 总是残酷.

一次又一次的伤痛, 把我从美梦中敲醒.

当眼泪, 无止尽的流, 再坚强的心, 也会随之瓦解.

听过这么一句话, "少年情怀总是痴"

但, 好像没说过, 痴, 也是要负出代价的.

看着身边的同龄友人有着自己的另一个他, 年纪轻轻, 谈及天长地久的感情. 好啦, 包括我在内.

又有多少个, 真正懂得, 爱情是什么.

我真的很不想, 小小年纪, 伤痕累累, 满头白发, 还没二十, 就有一颗历经沧桑的心.

我爱这首元稹的《离思五首（其四）》:

曾经沧海难为水，除却巫山不是云
取次花丛懒回顾，半缘修道半缘君

一直到现在, 想起这首诗, 眼前会一片朦胧, 嘴角还会微微颤抖. 谁会跟我一样, 深深体会这诗的意境?

我有一个很爱我的男生, 在我身边. 真的爱,对吗.

城市丰收教会的牧师说过: "LOVE IS THE DESIRE TO BENEFIT OTHERS, AT THE EXPENSE OF YOURSELF."

真的吗? 会吗?

2005-12-23T01:34:00.000+08:00

You Are 70% Boyish and 30% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.
Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.
You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.
You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

This is fake, I'm a shu nu, I should be 100% Girlish. Absolutely fucked up.

I went to watched King Kong yesterday and it totally rockz!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is such a great movie, so GOD DAMN NICE LOH!

IF YOU NEVER WATCH IT, I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT ARE YOU LIVING FOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't know king-kongs are so cool, and sentimental.

Adrien Brody is so shuai looking.

I saw so many people cry in the cinema, *sob* *sob*

school

2005-12-18T02:54:00.000+08:00

I'm so afraid.

I'm so afraid that I can't do report and study anymore after my diploma.

All of a sudden, when doing my effective business report writing, I realised that I have less than half a yr time to study. And after that, I don't think I can be admitted into any universities. 80% chance that I will definitely be working.

Than I cannot do reports or study for exams anymore.

That is like so sad loh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love to study okie. Although I'm not the material to do that, and got no talents for studying at all, I still think studying is fun, more fun than work.

I'm so depressed. I feel like crying!!!!!!! Than I cannot go to YCK and rush to school anymore????????? There is no need for me to wake up early anymore also!!!!!

What is the point of living than?

*sob sob sob sob sob*

End of year sales is here, freaking good.

GUESS AND ZARA AND MANGO AND TOPSHOP AND CK AND KENNETH COLE AND AX.

ARMARNI EXCHANGE sales is so great!!!!!!!!

Christmas is coming........

2005-12-15T20:55:00.000+08:00

You are AERIS. Benevolent, beautiful and...well,
hopefully not dead.

What Final Fantasy VII character are you?
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Just the part that I'm quiet is not true, the rest is. WAHAHAHAHA.

:)

2005-12-11T02:23:00.000+08:00

I've had enough of people insulting me.

I'm not a shu2 nu3, so what. What you want?

I know guys love shu nu, those who eat slowly, long straight hair, soft-spoken, damn gentle in action.

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM NOW?

I love to shake my legs, burp loudly and dig my nose in public.

Cannot meh?

I burp but no smell what (really I promise).

I never apply nose shit on anybody what!

But my secondary school friends and church friends use to say I'm a guy in a girl's body.

I REFUSE TO BE SHU NU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't like people to look at me when I burp. Because it is natural to burp, and if you tolerate to release soft burp, I think will die of cancer.

I shouldn't shake leg if it affect others, but I don't even know I'm shaking, it comes naturally! Like when you hit your knee, your leg will jump! It it natural!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I left church because I just want to be myself. I want to do what I want to do.

I want to fard, just fard. I want to burp, just burp. I want to dig, just dig.

What is wrong with all these?

Once, I was eating with friends, and I burped. They scolded me. Why huh?

I think people hate me, because I'm concerned about my appearance, yet, don't care about image.

My secondary sch friends say I'm a bimbo, I think I'm a transvestite.

I feel that for me, its all about seeking freedom in life. And I've not yet achieved this at all.

Firstly, be as simple as possible. Simplicity is the centre of my life. I don't mind routine, I just want to live a as ordinary as possible life.

Secondly, seek freedom. I must be able to do what I want to do, without hesitation. Fucking difficult.

Thirdly, not be emotionally tired.

I feel so tired of studying. The returns are so low.

So tired for not being able to be myself. Its not me any more.

I used to be crying alot, now, the tears are returning.

2005-12-10T00:18:00.000+08:00

I noticed that, don't know since when, I've given up on studies.

Not totally, but this is kinda disturbing. This world is unfair, very very unfair. It seems that my hard work will never pay off.

I hated myself very badly these days. I'm such a take-everything-for-granted and careless and forgetful and fucking disgusting idiotic person.

1) I've lost my hp before how many times in my life? 7 TIMES. 1 panasonic GD90, 2 8210, 2 8250, 1 6210 and 1 samsung phone. I think the Starhub call-agent know me by name, because I call to cancel my line because of losing of hp, very regularly.

2) I've mis-placed my wallet so many times that I lost count. Sure more than 10 times already. I used to have this string tied to my neck everywhere I go, carrying my hp and cardholder(as wallet), in my secondary school days. Than, I decided not to do this again when I started working after O'levels, because it looks stupid. I still do tie my hp around my neck when I'm in poly, but for a short while only. It really looks stupid.

I also do not bring my IC out, POSB bank card I replace for like 4 times before. Once, I was out for movie with Cleveland, and I dropped my current-using wallet in the cinema. But went back and managed to find it. WHAT THE FUCK SIAH. Like quite long never lost wallet already, CHOY!

3) Now, I couldn't find my thumb-drive and broke down crying. This is my second one already, I spoiled the first one.

And I lost it in my own house. I forgot I put where, than I couldn't find it at home. Think I accidentally throw in the rubbish bin, and my mum cleared it. It should be downstairs in the rubbish dump now.

I'm so scared Cleveland will scold me until I die, because this is the second one he bought for me already.

Fucking KNNBCCB loh. Why this kinda thing always happen to me one. Is this a curse?

I'm absolutely sure its a curse, whenever I met with alot of difficulties or cry almost everyday, something important to me will get missing. FUCK.

I cried, dropped tears, just now when eating and watching tv. I ask myself, why?? WHY???????????????? Totally disappointed in myself.

This entry is to tell myself, SIM SHU XIANG, PLEASE STOP LOSING YOUR VALUABLES ANYMORE. PLEASE, I BEG YOU OKIE.

I kinda become abit les now.

I like Ou Xuan, she dress well and so style. So pretty.

boo

2005-12-03T18:41:00.000+08:00

I need some christmas presents. Please buy for me will you???? PLEASE? Any kind souls... :>

1. Adidas vintage retro bag
Its so chio loh! I nearly 'high' until faint when see this! Simple and retro form of Adidas. From ebay at only 17 britain pound. But bid ending..sob sob.

This is also chio!

2. Clarins facial product

3. Balenciaga Bag
Nichole Ritchie is so gorgeous. The one she is carrying is darn nice.

This is from ebay, but cost S$300+. Authentic ones are ex.

4. MAC limited edition brush set

5. Some hair ribbons/clips with flower

6. New half socks

7. Guess wallet. Cost around S$60 only. Not nessessary this design!

8. Key Necklace
Could have one small crystal in the middle.

9. Boho Necklaces

10. Yellow/silver Heels
My shoe size is 5! Okie, abit unrealistic.

:>

hi

2005-11-27T18:08:00.000+08:00

I'm so stressed! I'm dying from stress.

The moment I see GDP/GNP, population growth, Asian Financial Crisis, I feel like vomiting.

WHAT DOES ALL THESE GOTTA DO WITH ME?

I'M JUST A NORMAL ordinary school girl trying to get a piece of diploma.

Why torture me with all these?

I just realised that I have 3 projects to hand in the following week and I'm struggling with one of them right now.

I haven't even started with the rest yet.

By the way, I'm going to boycott Thailand and baht because they started the Asian financial Crisis and thats the reason why am I searching for all this shit right now.

And whats wrong with the than PRIME minister Chavali Yongchaiyudh? What is wrong with him huh?

And whats up with Enterprise blogging? .................

I'm sick with flu and menstual cramp.

No amount of facial masks can make-up to my qiao-cui-ness right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-11-20T14:13:00.000+08:00

These are written by myself, tips I get from taiwan variety shows, there are lots more. :) Quoted ones I will mention.

Some points to add to previous entry:

1) Before you apply any mask, remember to put on a hot towel on your face for like 20 minutes first. This would help the essense to absorb better into your skin. It would be better if you have a bath tub at home, your body/face will become warm, and than you apply your mask.

2) You could use freezing cold mineral water to wash your face before slapping on toner and moisturiser than make-up base to let your make-up hold better. (when you are going to put on make-up for the day) Try and put your toner/softener in the refrigerator, all these will help to tighten your pores and make them look smaller. Make-up holds better this way too.

3) Do not use cotton wool to apply your toner/softener. Use your hands instead(cotton wool absorbs most of essence). Purposes of toner is usually to prep skin for better absorbtion of moisturiser or serum. [Stimulates and regulates the skin's functions to produce the optimum amount of oil required. Begins the nourishing and balancing stage of skin care.
Restores the elasticity of the pores after cleansing. Freshens the skin.]-quoted-1. You must pat your skin with the toner, it increases blood circulation and makes your skin shine from within.

4) Except from products you apply on the outter surface, should clear toxics from your body too. There are some ways your body clear toxics, that is through sweat, urine and shit. I've been having constipation don't know since when. Than, I went to purchase this honey vinegar to drink. It says will help you slim down and shit better.

This really works! I shit everyday now and complexion also becomes better. If you have constipation regularly, pimples/acne tend to appear more often. I heard from the "美丽艺能界" that healthy looking sai should be light brown and long one. Not those like small balls one! Normally, we should shit every single day, that is more healthy.

Also, need to drink alot of water. I would feel uneasy and totally wanna faint if never drink like 2 litres of water per day. Eat more vegetables and fruits too, everyday. Water is essential for healthy and bouncy radiant skin! I also drink herbal tea every week to let my body become cooler, I have very hot body(燥热体质). And also drink brewed soup from my mum 3 times a week.

It was said that if you regularly have pimples on your forehead, means you have very hot body and needs to drink cooler beverages!

5) Remember to do your sun protection every single day, even when you are in the sun for few minutes only. Singapore's sun like merciless okie. If you have dark spots/freckles/uneven skin-tone cause by sun rays, remember to put whitening mask everyday, to lighten dark spots! SKII is good, with the pitera and all that shit. I've used Neutrogena fairness mask before and it works. I hate whitening, but it really must be used when you have dark spots and uneven skin-tone! It was said that one SPF means that you can be in the sun for 15-30 minutes. SPF is the factor which helps you not get the harmful rays causing skin cancer. But PA++ is the factor which would cause you not to get darker in the sun. So, remember to see the instructions on the sun protection product before you purchase any!

6) Remember to use an eye gel if you have dark eye circles, eye bag or slight wrinkles. Gel is better than cream because cream is more oily. Pat your skin around your eyes every day if you want your eyes to be pretty! Remember that skin on your face is damn delicate, so, always be gentle when removing make-up or cleansing, and everything. Wrinkles will form if you pull them too hard! Skin around my eyes damn delicate, when I use any eye gel, will become itchy and pain. I recommend Missha eye gel, its good.

7) Massage your face regularly to improve blood circulation. But pls be damn gentle. Especially the part near your ears, it is the 穴道 which controls your inner organs. :> Also, exfolicate your body/feet once a week, than apply moisturiser.

There are lots more, but I've to do my project already, :)

只有懒女人, 没有丑女人.

hi

2005-11-19T14:47:00.000+08:00

Chinese: Unicode

Just wanna share my experiences of some facial products and have an record of what I'm using right now. So that I can read this in future(not so long) and laugh at myself for using cheapo stuff. :) And see how poor am I in the past, I would be surely using SKII by than okie!!!!!!! I'm not using that now because they specialise in anti-aging products, and I'm not aging yet! Don't look down on me!

By the way, I have combination skin(混合性肌肤). Damn oily at the T-zone and normal skin at the cheeks area. WTF right, can't skin be the same for all parts.

There is this lipocils thingy that can make your eyelashes grow after applying for 28 days. This is introduced by 大S, in her book: "美容大王". It has been a while already since her book is published, and everybody says it works! Must brush it on your eyelashes twice a day, and your eyelashes will grow like around 2-3 centimetres, or become thicker.

They say Taiwan went out of stock of this product after her book is published!!!!!! Damn 夸张 loh!

Anyway, it can be purchased at a spa boutique "Spa-lon" in Singapore. Last time use to have at East Point and unity pharmacy, now I go and find, don't have liao. Spa-lon is located at simei and cck, I went to the one at cck before, its unit is #05-05. It is at freaking $59.90 for 10ML. FUCK YOU, TAIWAN SASA SELLS IT AT 20PLUS SING DOLLARS OK. Spa-lon website here.

I can't go HK next month because its cold over there and I don't think I can take it. So I can't get it at HK anymore. Must buy at SPA-LON, FUCK! But actually can get from HK or Taiwan yahoo auction, not really safe though. Link here.

My eyes. -_- My friends say my eyes look like go plastic surgery cut double eye-lid than look like this! Does it look so terrible.

Anyway, for facial care, I think the 3-steps routine is important. It includes cleansing, toning and moisturising. Japanese believe in softening though, instead of toning. Its the same kind of product. Those females who are above the age of 25 should includes serum(精华液) before toning or moisturising because their skin need more nutrients! It can be for anti-winkles.

Must do this 3-steps everyday, if you never make-up for the day, can just splash mineral water over your entire face when you wake up, no need use any soap or cleansing product. Later in the day than use. Know why? Because natural oil on the face is always good for protection purposes. And if your pores appear big, use cold mineral water to wash your face everyday when you wake up.

By the way, I learn all these tips either from magazines or taiwan variety shows: "美丽艺能界" or "女人我最大". :>

Of course before that, must remove make-up first. I use this Loreal cleansing milk to remove my face make-up before cleansing. It is quite good, and easy to use. But it leaves a film on your face, but its alright with me because I also need to cleanse later. I recommend Shu Uemura Cleansing oil, it is real good. But damn expensive! Close to a hundred bucks. :>

For eye-make-up, have to use a separate one, because I use super lots mascara! I use Simple eye make-up remover. This has conditioning factor for eyelashes, so quite good right.

When bathing, I will scrub my face using Forever living aloe scrub after removing make-up and than use neutrogena deep clean foaming cleanser to wash my face. I will always massage my face with my fingers when cleansing, increases blood circulation, and you'll have radiant skin! 3 steps to cleanse my skin only, because of cosmetics lah. You won't want to have break-outs right, with cosmetics clogging all your pores. The aloe scrub is damn good, it won't make your skin rough or destroy your natural film of protection, clear surface dead skin cells. Neutrogena is good for a drugstore brand, won't leave my skin dry and tight.

Use these pore pack after that! To remove my white-heads every week. But it is actually not really good for your nose, will enlarge pores! But no choice, feel very shiok when see all the white heads getting pulled out! I very 变态.

Must tone your skin after that. I use Neutrogena Skin-clearing toner, it is good with natural plant extract, it makes me grow less pimples. I've been using it for few years already, it is really awesome. Next, apply Neutrogena moisture defense lotion. It smells nice with SPF 15! I use it before my make-up base, it is absorbed into my skin very speedyly! I adores Neutrogena because it is affordable and good to use. Other brands make my skin break-out!

This is a Korean brand of a make-up base in blue. It helps to even out my skin-tone before my foundation. Without this, my make-up can't hold at all! Always use products with SPF protection, you do not want to have dark spots and ugly patches on your face right. Sun protection is damn important, remember!

Got pimples? Use this! Oxy 10. WAH LAO, I have like at least 1 or 2 pimples per month, because of imbalance hormonic changes during menstruation. -_-

At night, this cream works wonder. Before sleeping, I slap this on after my toner. Garnier firming night cream. It smells heavenly also, and everyday I wake up with smooth and hydrated skin. It helps to improve my rough skin patches. They dissappeared after I use this!

Must surely put mask every week. Especially exfolicating(去角质). I use this Blue corn 2 in 1 scrub mask every week after cleansing, leave it on for like 15 minutes, wash off and have totally fabulous skin. It is really good in a rather big tub and also, removes oil clogs for me and skin becomes very smooth. After putting this mask, tone and moisturise as usual.

This mask is introduced in 大S book also, she said that this mask is really good. Lifecella Orange mask(果冻面膜) . I used it recently and it really really gives me very smooth skin, like totally no rough patches like that. The scent is great too. A must-buy. I was using Neutrogena deep-hydating and pore-refiner masks before this. They are great too!

I hate to see masks or facial products with whitening factor!!!!!!! I vomits or turn away when seeing this word "whitening(美白)" Why must the world females be so obsessed about this???? I want to be dark. Tanned is nice! 大S said that "一白遮三丑", I don't understand loh. When you are fair, pimples or dark spots are more obvious what, how can it 遮三丑? Sucky loh. But I use SPF 4-8 tanning oil when exposing myself to the sun, and I tan not more than 1 hr okie. :>

Most of these products are from drugstores and they work really well on me! I'm not really rich, so cannot afford to buy expensive specialty counter brands. But beauty products are really trial and error thingy. Must experiment for yourself to see which are the products which suits you and also search for product reviews online.

Imagine, you have to put one mask(I put 2-3) weekly. The masks that I use is only 5-6 sing dollars per sheet. HELLLLOOO, 5-6 DOLLARS IS LIKE CAN EAT ONE MEAL LOH. And you just put the 5-6 dollars mask on your stupid face for 15 minutes, $5-$6 are gone just like that. Don't ever think of repeat use of the masks, you'll have li-guo-huang face than. So, I really cannot bear to spent these dollars on expensive brands. : OK!

Hair is important too, I dye my hair like once every 3 months(cover my white hairs). So hor, my hair damn dry, like grass like that!

Dove shampoo is damn good loh! OH MY GOD MY HAIR IS LIKE BECOMING MORE AND MORE SMOOTH AND SILKY AFTER USING THIS HEAVENLY SHAMPOO! MUST-BUY!

After shampooing of course must apply conditioner. I very lazy, only use like once or twice every week. Actually should condition at least 5 times per week. *Guilty* This Forever living conditioning rinse is awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will cry after using, because hair become so smooth, like shu qi(舒琪)'s hair!

Every week must use this hot-oil treatment too in your hair. It is really good for dry and frizzy hair. My hair becomes manageable and also shiny after using this.

Hair wax to style my hair before going out. Must have some volume okie. But best is don't put any sai on your hair too much. They will become like grass.

By the way, must don't wash your hair at least once per week. 小S and 大S got say before! If you wash your hair every single day, you will scrap you hair off its natural moisture/oil. Natural stuff are mostly there for a reason, so, do not destroy them! For those with rather short hair, should be okie to wash everyday.

Must be consistent than can see results one.

Thats the end of everything. :)

2005-11-19T14:17:00.001+08:00

Title: How girls waste their time / Stupid things girls do

Quoted from: http://sky.prohosting.com/gssq/writings/girl.htm

This contribution to militant feminism was started in the latter half 2000 by me for various reasons, among them being boredom, surfeit of time, sheer boliao-ness and disgust at the feminist movement. Contrary to popular belief, this list was compiled through observation, interviews, research and contributions; list items were not made up.

Comments / Contributions are heartily welcome so I can correct, elaborate on and expand this list.

Disclaimer: However this list may sound, I am neither a MCP nor a misogynist, supporting and believing in gender equality. I also condone many of the items listed here and even indulge in some myself.

Note: Items on this list may be indulged in by males as well, and not all apply to all females. I believe that males are screwed up as well, albeit in a different way. The second part of the list's name is Kairen's suggestion.

1. On the phone / gossiping / talking / whining

2. Makeup and accessories - hair (wearing hairbands around their necks and letting their hair flop around their eyes - I mean I don't care if your hair is in your eyes... but if you have a hairband, wear it!), bodily or other (eg pets, possessions and other people)

3. Shopping, especially window - and most especially for things they don't want, just for the thrill of it.

3. a) Bargaining for the sake of bargaining, even when the price is already very low - "a man is someone who pays $2 for a $1 item he wants. a woman is someone who pays $1 for a $2 item she doesn't want"

3. b) Spending 3 hours and $5 in fuel/transport fees to travel to some sub-urban warehouse to save $0.30 on toilet paper because it is "cheap"

4. Sighing, obsessing (eg: omg what did he mean when he said: 'I'm going to sleep'?!! how?!what
dossit mean?!!") or giggling about crushes / doing other requisite things with sighing - 6 hours compared to guys' 5 minutes for the works / writing stories involving them & their crushes

5. Hair (includes blowjobs on wet/dry hair and styling, playing and accessorising, rebonding, hair extensions, perming/using curlers, cutting it whenever they undergo some great emotional change / trauma)

6. Nails (manicure, filing, buffing, embossing, painting with horrid colours, drawing of measle-like dots)

7. Shaving (or other forms of hair removal - waxing, tweezing, hair removal cream or laser), especially regretful when not done thoroughly, leaving 'shadow'

8. Reading the surfeit of redundant, gushy, sex-obsessed, overpriced, sappy and soppy girly and self-improvement magazines on the market which just make them feel yet more inadequate, starting a vicious circle which leads to more purchases of said mags

9. Daydreaming (aka fantasising)

10. "Cute" stuff (real or contrived) - including dolls, origami, soft toys and fads (Tare Panda - on drugs and squashed by a steamroller, Hello Kitty - no mouth, Powerpuff Girls - sickly 'sweet' voices reminiscent of the smell of decaying flesh, Qoo drink's mascot - one ear, Disgusting Chick [Groovy Chick] stationery etc...)

11. Colour coding / decorating things (esp those with obsessive compulsive disorder) - writing their names on their notes in fanciful fonts / Doodling / vandalising friends' notes with flowers etc / sparkles on handphone screens? / Squirting fabric paint on the insides of their belt/shoes/bag/lockers/files/whatever they get their hands and fabric paint on

11. a) Decorating their possessions endlessly with various loud, garish and distasteful patterns, getting upset at their prior work when their moods change with the movement of various heavenly bodies, then trying to cover or eradicate all traces of their previous attempts and start again

11. b) Drawing cute pictures (flowers, cartoons, hearts, etc...) on each other's body parts (tighs, legs, hands, arms, palms, neck, face, etc...)

12. irc/icq/M$N/chat/Friendster (so desperate NS guys can ogle at their pictures)/other internet communication

12. a) Compulsive email forwarding syndrome, especially "cute", "sweet" or "meaningful" ones, where the probability of forwarding rises with the attachments' size, stupidity and/or how annoying they are

13. Long baths / long times in bathrooms, in addition to long changing times

14. Little notes on sparkly perfumed light purple paper with fluorescent pink ink, decorated with various grotesque shapes and entities

15. Perfecting printed handwriting (usually small / invisible) / writing in 'cute' font (or 6 different colours and pen tip sizes)

16. Silly and incomprehensible jokes/antics on guys (even other girls)

17. Giggling or laughing at everything and nothing / squealing (sometimes like small girls) (even over vegetables?) / yelping / screaming / shrieking (eg playing ball games - when they catch/throw the ball, when the ball comes near/almost hits them, when insects come near) / jumping up and down

17. a) Entering into interminable giggling fits with other girls

18. Ogling "cute" guys (often squealing) - In NJC, bored girls rate guys coming out of the toilets : '0', '10', '-5,', 'hopeless'. Sometimes, if they're bored they say the ratings out loud so the guys can hear / admiring other girls

19. comparing br****s, legs, hips, butts, waistlines and figures, and boyfriends' penis sizes when older

20. romance novels / sappy movies (giving girls false ideas about sex and love, leading to future disappointment and pain, being cheated on by AC guys and making them extremely screwed up)

21. Looking in the mirror / pretending that they're very chio (pretty)

22. "Nice" stuff as gifts for others which invariably takes a long time to make / staying up until 5 am to make little 'thank you' cards for everyone in their cca/class/both/everyone they know.. half of which get tucked into a corner and forgotten/throw away and trashed anyway

23. Extended periods of time locked in the bedroom performing unspeakable acts

24. Being fussy with food / destroying their digestive systems - being anorexic (3 fishballs for a meal!?), protein diet, prolonged detox, bingeing, sharing portions of food meant for 1 person with 1 or 2 other anorexic girls, eating very often but very little each time, starving themselves for months at a time and then pigging out during sleepovers

25. Beautification - real or psychological (exfoliating scrub, toner, blue tracing paper [aka blotting paper], face/skin lightening cream, facials, nail polish, bust enhancement/implants, eyebrow shaping, revealing clothes, various other varieties of snake oil) and then feeling offended and objectified when men look at them admiringly. Either that or trying to look like a guy

26. Cooking (often not finishing the food)

26. a) Baking cakes/cookies/pastry and then complaining about how they're so lousy at it while the boys wolf everything up double quick.

27. Holding hands while waving and skipping / bouncing / bounding around

27. a) Holding another girl's hand and swinging it up and down repeatedly, like a swing

28. Whining / fretting that they're fat / look fat / have a big butt (despite weighing 30 kgs and eating less than a Somali on a diet) and professing to be willing to enter Obedience School (BMT) to shed the 23kg that I did, regardless of its horrors, while constantly reassuring other distraught girls that they themselves are stick-thin

28. a) Engaging in solipsistic arguments about how they're hungry but don't want to gain weight

28. b) Whining / fretting that they're ugly or have too many pimples while saying all their friends are pretty (even if they aren't in the first place; this is also done so by association they'll be considered pretty too) - in reality it's just a perverse game they play so people - especially distressed boyfriends - will assure them that they truly do look good

28. c) Deluding themselves into thinking that they're pretty or sexy

28. b) i) Constantly complaining that they are inferior and stuff about low-self esteem, but blowing up when you say something that is true about their weaknesses

29. Sparkle / milky / scented pens (sometimes with weird things attached to the end) / glitter

30. Deciding what to wear (esp considering outfit + shoes)

31. Spending enormous amounts of time in front of music shops gazing at posters of the latest "cute" Jap singer

32. Devising lists to contribute to militant chauvinism / other acts against the dominant "oppressive" social order / being chauvinist

33. Spending hours in their rooms struggling with a needle and thread trying to raise the hem of their school skirt

34. Acting cute (often failing, sometimes grossing people out) eg making baby noises, pouting, posing etc

35. Taking endless repetitive character/personality tests or quizzes (or some other form of evaluation), sometimes more than once, despite their patent lack of predictive or explanatory value / evaluating their psyche / going for therapy and/or psychoanalysis to assuage their insecurities and bring some grounding into their lives

36. Fashion [disasters] (butt-hugging, butt-cheek-revealing hot shorts!!!, very short, ankle or even heel revealing hot socks, midriff baring outfits, especially when they are chubby, all manner of garish coloured outfits, appalingly coloured/designed sports bras, those horrible head scarfs [bandanas], gigantic hoop earrings, ghastly accessories).

37. Gushing over "touching" and/or "romantic" (read: mushy) stuff

38. Games involving one or more of the following: co-operation, co-ordination, hand movements and clapping. And inevitably, lots of giggling. (Eg: Strawberry Shortcake)

38. a) Playing games involving slapping/biting with each other

39. Compulsive photo-taking / photo-sticker disorder (Group shots in buses [2S06A'01], Andrew Gan eating a sundae pie, their meals [possibly to count calories and keep themselves going when they're starving themselves], group shots in the toilet, more than 40 pictures from just sitting at Raffles City's Starbucks for an hour), exchanging pictures

39. a) Self-taken pictures of themselves / themselves and their friends in funny poses when they're pretending that they're very pretty

40. Flirting with each other and generally acting completely lesbian when exclusively in the company of girls.

40. a) Touching / pulling / hugging / leading each other

41. Taking unearthly amounts of time to perform unspeakable acts in the toilet, usually together with other girls in toilet outings, and waiting for everyone to be done before leaving; in the meantime doing dumb things like splashing water, mashing toilet paper to throw on the ceilings, sometimes adding enough water to make them fall on their friends ('only netball girls do that'), gossiping and bitching endlessly and coming out hyperventilating and taking group photos; as a result of which, they waste 5 times as much time queuing for toilets as men

41. a) Trying to perfect the art of hover pissing because of the erroneous fear that they will catch something if they sit on the toilet seat. In the end they take three times as long but still end up dirtying the toilet seat (encouraging yet more women to hover-piss)

41. b) Freshening up every 10 minutes even where there is no need to

41. c) Shower outings because they're afraid that they'll be eaten by grues

42. Obsessing over trivialities (and getting angry over minor perceived transgressions) / being overly sensitive or petty (eg girls having a spat amongst themselves about how they shouldn't be friends because so-and-so didn't give so-and-so a Valentine's Day present)

42. a) Breaking up perfectly good friendships over some minor, trivial issue

43. Talking about / Shopping for extra clothes to fill the already burgeoning closet(s) / shoes to topple the overloaded shoe racks

44. Drawing up elaborate lists detailing their "ideal" man, including in them qualities such as "sensitive", "thoughtful", "caring" and "good listener" (ie They want a "nice guy") and exchanging them with other similarly emotionally disturbed girls, then falling head over heels in love with the first jerk, alpha male or lying bastard (ie The antithesis) who comes along

44. a) Describing their ideal man to their Intellectual Whore, not realising they're describing him to a tee, then going for jerks anyway.

44. b) Swearing to hate all guys forevermore after the latest jerk has cheated on them, then going for another jerk on their rebound anyway.

44. c) Confusing the hell out of all the men interested in them - what women want, what women say they want and what women think they want aren't always the same.

45. Being racked with indecision, vacillating constantly

46. Writing notes to people they already talk to (and/or see) everyday, often on free postcards, even if they are right next to them

47. Hugging files to their bosoms tightly (sometimes closing their eyes and shaking to and fro when they think no one is looking)

48. Practicing inane actions that they think make them attractive to boys, eg. Blinking, fluttering eyelids, batting eyelashs, sucking in their cheeks, swaying their hips

49. Breaking down inexplicably, taking the rest of their clique with them / "happy also cry, sad also cry"

50. Being squeamish over the littlest things

51. Boybands (ogling, fantasising, singing their songs, making fun of them [for those not totally caught up])

52. Taking forever to eat but never finishing their food (because they're full, on a diet, have played with their food till it becomes inedible or are multi-tasking)

53. Coming up with and struggling to keep to diet plans which they don't need in the first place

54. Dotting their 'i's and 'j's with hearts and circles

55. Carrying around a surfeit of stationery - eg 30 of the funny highlighter pens with a marker on one side, and a pen on the other / owning about a million bags + pencil cases + wallets (purses) + handphone covers to match their mood/clothes/bedsheets/room color/menstrual flow and what not

56. Naming/giving life to their stuff (eg sweaters, female figures on carousels)

57. Talking / complaining about their periods (according to Melvin)

58. Talking about virginity and also on the subject of losing it - when (also according to Melvin) (confirmed by a girl)

59. Talking about guys

60. Getting presents for people for the most trivial reasons / occasions
61. Playing with each other's hair (One day in the RJ canteen, I saw some J2s girls: one's hair was being braided into 2 pigtails by 3 others and 4 spectators looked on), bouncing or tugging fringes and ponytails

62. In RGS, the girls watch sunrises through school windows

63. Carrying around [miniscule] [hand]bags which can barely hold anything

64. Complaining about guys and expecting them to be as screwed up as they are

65. Playing the guessing game, leading to mutual hurt, distrust and vituperation:
A: I'm pissed with you
B: What's wrong?
A: If you don't know what's wrong, I shan't tell you!

66. Discussing weird stuff eg whether they sleep naked

67. Attaching bells, mini-soft toys or assorted dangling things to their bags, ankles or mobile phones

68. Hurting or mutilating themselves when they're stressed, bored, depressed or have just been dumped (pricking, cutting and the like)

69. Talking about those inanely pervasive soap(opera)s. The type that can get really confusing if you don't watch them.

70. Faking cramps so they don't have to do PE

70. a) In pinafored schools, faking that they're not wearing a bra so they don't have to do PE

71. Being kiddy

72. Acting Bimbo

72. a) Being butch to gain popularity

73. Fawning over babies / animals

74. Quarrelling/catfight/"friendly bickering" over stupid pens or the like

75. Moving in pairs (sometimes packs)

76. Getting green eyed when they see a prettier girl, pretending to fawn on her and later backstabbing her

77. Reading/watching Yaoi (and other sorts of manga and anime) and writing fan fiction and drawing fan art (This entry is specifically dedicated to Yaoi Girl :) )

78. Nagging persistently (exemplified by most grandmothers and mothers)

79. Trying to matchmake their friends (most popular among those already attached)

80. Being insecure and paranoid

81. In St Margaret's, the girls make a game of ripping each other's ties off, thus releasing the zips of the blouses which fall some way, depending on how hard the ties are pulled

82. Professing their love to each other and asking their friends if they love them too. If their friends say no, they get angry.

82. a) Forming families with a mother, father, brother, sister, hubby, darling, maid, pet turtle, pet dog, pet cat, neighbour, sister in law and brother in law and such because they were emotionally abused as children and need a support network, where one's role is dependent on one's looks/behavior/sexual orientation. Eg dogs whine and cats are annoying

83. Having a compulsive, morbid fascination with the colour Pink

84. Cakes and pictures and more cakes and more pictures at every juncture/occasion/whatever reason they can think of

85. Forming cliques and swearing loyalty, then chatting and screaming and talking about their boyfriends so loudly anyone can hear them anyway

86. Complaining they have no money and then blowing 50 bucks on new clothes that they don't need

87. Spending hours and hours cutting and pasting pictures of their friends and pasting them into collages in their folders... Then throwing them away to start a new collage again, destroying perfectly good pictures of people in the process

88. Mutilating/wasting their diaries when they change their boyfriend and can't stand seeing their ex boyfriend's name in the diary

89. Making people wait. And wait.

90. Practicing being/pretending to be ignorant about certain things (usually involving dirty work: changing tyres, light-bulbs, etc) so that guys will be duped into helping them.

90. a) Waiting for help to arrive rather than helping themselves: when guys are around, suddenly being incapable of doing the simplest things for themselves at all, eg getting a straw

91. Reading lists like this so they can flame the author :)

91. a) Write extensive rants about lists they were offended by, such as this one, nitpicking each and every sentence with spelling/grammar-error filled rebuttals such as "omg ur teh fagit cos u hate womyn", and "men ar like soooooooooooooooo dum". Often, the rants end up being much longer than the list itself.

92. Walking ridiculously slowly, often being distracted by frivolous/trivial things along the way, and so ending up taking twice as long to do something as is necessary.

93. Singing nonsensical little ditties that they make up

94. Making either a) pastel coloured blogs with lots of pictures of cute stuffed toys and hearts, exclamation marks, animated gifs/marquees, horrific grammar and observations about boys who are "very cuuuutte... but mi scared to tok to him lor.. nvr see b4... teeheehee" or b) pastel or red-and-black blogs with strange titles on each entry "lace bleeding along my thighs" / "whimsical rhapsodies playing in my cranium" and general moody bitching that comes straight ouf ot a Tori Amos song.

95. Taking neoprints of themselves and their friends in every possible factorial combination. (eg. 3 friends will take 6 neoprints to represent all the possible positions - ABC, ACB, BAC, BCA, CAB, CBA)

95. a) Pasting said neoprints all over their calculators and files.

96. Spending hundreds of dollars to change their hairstyle to make them look completely different and then getting offended when people don't recognise them anymore.

97. Spending that much extra time to ensure that every inch of their handphone covers are festooned with neoprints and hello kitty stickers, configuring true tunes for individual callers, downloading logos, only to replace their phone a month later, usually on parents/boyfriend's largesse.

98. Watching patiently and nodding as you explain to them how to perform IT related tasks such as burning things onto CDs or configuring desktop settings, and saying "yes i know" to your repeated admonitions, only to call you for help the very second you're out of sight.

99. Spending all their time making lucky chatterboxes/flower games/lotus flowers/Guan Yin Ma's Seat /cootie catcher (those folding things we played with as kids, the ones which usually have some "fortune" written on a petal and you open and close it to some jingle and then pick one petal to "open"?) - actually writing all the fortunes themselves and then getting pissed off when they pick one they didn't like.

100. An unending preoccupation with marriage/fantasising about marriage

100. a) Adopting the last name of each new boyfriend that comes along and writing it all over notebooks and folders in nothing other than sparkle pens and girly fonts etc...

100. b) Adopting their favourite celeb's name - Mrs Carter was in for 5 years, and Mrs Di'Caprio for 2, even using them on the radio, and coming up with names for their kids

101. Reading tabloids and/or watching celebrity shows, making lengthy discussions about them as though they were breakthroughs in science.

102. Plotting tactics for winning arguments with men. But wait a minute. Men never do the talking in the arguments anyway, nor do they start them.

103. Watching taped episodes of reality TV shows, sometimes pausing the scenes to "capture the essence".

104. Buying and listening to "music" made by the latest popstar on MTV, BET, VH1, Disney, or other mind-rotting TV channel.

105. Arguing with people over their taste in music, because the other party listens to a music genre they don't like.

106. Buying expensive or exotic food that they will not eat, and arguing with anyone who finally eats the food because they "planned on eating it later".

107. Spending in excess of 100 dollars on soaps, lotions, and bathroom ornaments that can be easily bought at a local dollar store.

108. Signing up for credit cards, using them all up on fashion and other useless junk, and crying about having no money to pay back the loan sharks who call them regularly. Then they'll still blow their income on said fashion and useless junk.

109. Making expansive hand gestures repeatedly

110. Imputing undue importance to certain essentially meaningless dates (eg First pet's death anniversary, conjunction of certain designated heavenly bodies, day and time of first hickey given by boyfriend), then kicking up a big fuss if they are not adequately commemorated

110. a) Imputing undue importance to certain essentially meaningless facts about themselves (eg Volume of flow, crests of biorhythms, favourite texture of parquet), then kicking up a big fuss if they are not remembered

111. Analysing and cross-analysing in excruciating detail the words and actions of others, often reading into them implicit meanings that don't actually exist, and seeing daggers where there are none (which explains why girls like to do Literature)

112. Using PMS and their gender as excuses to get things/get away with things.

113. Talking in great detail about menstrual cycles and the like, just to gross guys out

114. The adoration of boys who look like girls. See F4, 5566, Orlando Bloom as Legolas, etc.

114. a) A subset of this is reading Japanese manga where the males are distinguishable only by their slightly narrower eyes and wider jaws. And inevitably, these manga will feature falling flower petals and sparkling eyes at some point or the other.

115. Being fag hags. If a girl is a fag hag, she will start up on every single straight-identifying man in the vicinity by asking loaded questions like, "Come on. Would you sleep with a guy if you really had to?" and then proclaiming they are either gay and/or in denial. Then she'll start matchmaking even straight guys together. See: Yaoi/slash fangirl.

115. a) Being a fag hag hopelessly in love with a gay man, and gushing about him all the time to her gal pals who think she's crazy... while rejecting advances from straight guys and then complaining she cant get a boyfriend

116. Being passive-aggressive. "I'm not mad at you. Really. ...WTF YOU ARE SO ANNOYING OMG."

117. Making fun of guys who indulge in anything from the above list. And using metrosexual as an insult.

118. Dabbing and shaking off the salt from french fries because otherwise it's "too fattening"

119. Entering Pavlovian fits of ecstasy when they see a food they like (eg Brownies, Takopachi, Cheescake, Tiramisu), then, after gorging on them, complaining about weight gain and the need to exercise.

120. Keeping letters in their wallets. Loveletters, friend letters, secret letters. They're all there.

121. Finding (often lame) reasons to meet up with each other to reaffirm their sacred feminine bond of friendship by giggling at cute waiters

122. Laughing at really lame jokes

123. Whining about men not being chivalrous or gentlemanly while refusing to conform to archaic and sexist notions of proper gender behavior themselves

124. Using physical appearance as a proxy for self-worth

124. a) Assuming others use their physical appearance as proxies for their valuations of them

125. Asking their significant others questions which have no right answer. eg "Am I fat?", "Does my butt look big in this?"

126. Living life by the adage: 'If you have it, flaunt it. If you don't, bitch about those who do.'

127. Peppering stupid symbols such as "<3" and "%" all over blogs and tagboard messages.

128. Backstabbing other girls and then later complaining that they hate backstabbers.

129. Holding grudges against other girls for half their lifetimes over petty issues like forgetting to flush the toilet; women are like elephants - they never forget

jay chou

2005-11-14T00:36:00.000+08:00

第四十二届金马奖终于在高雄, 圆满结束了! 我在四个钟头前的东风台, 看了现场转播.

好高兴周星弛得到最佳導演和最佳剧情片!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 可惜他并没有出席晚会!!!!!!!

VERY VERY DISAPPOINTED!

周杰伦尽然拿走最佳新人(BEST NEWCOMER)!! 他太屌了啦. 全集酷酷的. 应该是以为全世界都在看他吧. -_-

整个典礼都很闷, 只有天后阿妹的显唱比较有看头, 还有侯佩岑亮丽的外表. 其他, 都好无聊.

还有, 摄影师一直拍周杰伦是怎样? 金马奖只有他来吗?

Anyway, 他的新专缉好好听!

铜镜映无邪, 紥马尾
祢若撒野, 今生我把酒奉陪.

这句很感人, 是南拳妈妈, 其中一位团员写的:

乌云在我们心中搁下一块阴影
我聆听沉寂已久的心情

如果分手的时候是在下雨天, 有乌云, 那回亿, 可能永远消散不去.
听雨声, 可能就是在想起, 当天, 我们的心情.

Too sentimental already. :)

2005-11-06T01:18:00.000+08:00

Zhou Jie Lun's latest album is out!!!!!!!!!!

Chopin in November

OH MY GOD! MUST BUY.

Vanessa, thanks alot, for giving me your pirated

CD of his.

I don't support piracy. I'm sorry, I've repented to God already. But I've got no money recently, have spent alot on clothes and cosmetics, just bought my Levis Square Cut jeans which cost $130 too. I'm left with not a single cent to buy his album. *sob sob* Still gotta borrow from Vanessa to eat or buy notes. But nevermind, my mum just gave me 50bucks, will return Vanessa. Cleveland will buy the album for me, coz I need to top up my facial masks already!!!!!

My favourite song in this album would be the 3rd track, FA RU XUE. Very china-ly song, and tears were flooding in my eyes when I first heard this song. The lyrics were very meaningful and scenery-nic. LOLZ. I can't type chinese at all at my computer!!!!!!! It talks about the various feelings that guy has when waiting miserably for the girl he loves. Vincent Fung is like OMG-SO-TALENTED.

The rest of his songs are great too. Very jay-chou-style. Anyway, must buy his album. His music is no longer an entertainment only, it is also a culture and trend. If you don't listen, you would be 'out' of fashion and totally should die right away.

Next month I'm having two weeks term break, and I've to save money to go HONG KONG with Cleveland. Coming out with a list of stuff to buy there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time to work hard for school. :)

ambition

2005-11-05T00:30:00.000+08:00

my school reopen already! I'm not happy, isn't suppose to be anyway. Who loves studying? WHO, TELL ME WHO????????????? NOBODY OKIE!!!!!!!!!!! EXCEPT THOSE NERDYS AND THEY ARE NOT EVEN CONSIDERED HUMAN.

One of the tutors told each of us to tell the class, or herself, about what are we going to do after we graduate. Noticed that most in my class has plans on their mind already, and they are like too mature loh. Further study or work in reputable companies.

I don't really like to be too normal. As in work in any company and get monthly salary, 9-5 job, got time lim kopi, club and stay ordinary forever.

We are studying business management, so, must be entrephreneurs what. :)

So I said that I would either study in China,be a writer or open up a business.

Life isn't suppose to be a 9-5 thingy. I HATE THAT! But this is like the best for anybody, stay in our comfort zone for the rest of our life.

NO! FUCKING NO! TRY IMPACTING OTHERS WITH SOMETHING YOU KNOW.

Even selling a good face moisturiser or health product might change someone's life too.

Best is, be a counsellor. WAHAHAHAHAHA

But, I realised, life is all about searching for your own potential. Your own dream, something you have passion for. Something you would die for. A music composer would die if he/she isn't allow to compose, a designer would die if he/she can't have any inspirations anymore.

JUST DO WHAT I WANT TO DO, AND NOT HAVE ANY REGRETS. YES.

2005-10-26T01:17:00.000+08:00

I think I will still use those toilets in the females for disabled people.

Read this. And also this.

Even before reading these, and ages ago, I've visited toilets for the handicapped. I know it is wrong and I should be hanged for this. I KNOW AND I KNOW.

But what if you are damn urgent and there is no toilets available(as in all cubicles are occupied)??????????????

I hate the feeling of being urgent to pee or shit. FUCKING HELL MY BLADDER WILL BURST AND MY ASSHOLE WILL ROT(OK WON'T ROT,BUT BE CREATIVE)!

Imagine this:

You are happily singing ktv and drinking alot of liquid because you need the extra H20 to sooth your throat. Moreover, the air-conditioning in the KTV'baoXiang is darn cold. Increases your chance of urge to visit the washroom.

Finally, you could no longer take it and rush to the nearest toilet. And realised to your horror..FUCK IT! Toilet full siah! But there's a vacant one for the disabled. What would you do?

1) Run with break-neck speed to another toilet avalible at the other floor. It would mean another 5 mintues which requires you to move your bursting bladder to another level. And to take the lift/escalator and walk to the toilet. Provided the other toilet is not crowded too.

2) Die die tolerate and wait for the queue. Even if pee on pants also won't budge.

3) Use the one for the disabled.

I will choose the last one.

To add on, they are more spacious and got washing basin somemore leh! If got handicapped person who want to use the toilet too, of course I will let her/him use first. But there is none of them loh! THE CUBICLE KONG ZHE YE SHI KONG ZHE WHAT.

I feel so evil. But trust me, I use toilet very fast one. Within 3 minutes I can gao dim already.

I think the government can lock these toilets so bad people like me won't be able to use it. And give those disabled people a pass or what, to gain access to them.

I can urinate on my pants if too urgent. Its alright, really. *FUMING*

Anyway, I support Xiaxue lah. Not blindly, but because I thought so too. :)

hey

2005-10-24T01:50:00.000+08:00

Sorry, to myself and anybody who seems to be visiting my blog when the pictures loading for the pervious entries were kinda lagging.

School will be starting soon, and I've had two months or so, of holidays.

I asked myself these questions:

Q1) What have you done significantly during this holiday?

Ans: Nothing much. Went KL, watched Full House, tidied my room, and also, maybe read a few books.

Q2) Do you admit you are a lazy pig who only sits 'in' the sofa and watch TV the whole of two months.

Ans: Yes (without hesitation)

Q3) How will you intend to change?

Ans: Go swimming at least twice a week, save up some money for traveling and write up a plan on how to work harder when school starts. Lastly, I FUCKING SWEAR I WILL WORK HARD FOR THE LAST DAMN SEMESTER.

__________________________________________________________________________________

I used to have this dream, since I was 14 years old till now. That is, of course to study in beijing university and than perhaps become a writer, but continue studying Chinese literature. But after knowing Cleveland, I realised that there are more important and significant thing to do than my ambition. That is to fulfil his dream with him. Since I'm studying business management now, I might as well put it to good use. He will be a reputable person in future, so I hope that I can share abit of light with him too. As for my dream, qiu mong should be able to fulfil it for me. Think she would be reading this, she loves Chinese too, she can do it too.

ktv

2005-10-12T23:53:00.000+08:00

It is Carol's birthday on 10th October! Okie lah it is over. But we went to KTV to sing and celebrate her birthday on 8th October. It was suppose to be 5 persons going. But ended up with 3 persons(excluding Cleveland) only. Anyway, hope that Carol enjoys this day! Time to post some pictures taken by Cleveland's digital camera. Than both of Vanessa and Carol can see the pictures, and also how beautiful I look. The lightings are bad okie, inside the freaking KTV BOX. I look roasted on fire, my face looks reddenly tanned. Although I already is.

Vanessa bought a small cake for Carol and is forcing her to eat. Haiz. Poor Carol.

See! My fACE LOOK roasted right. Anyway, Vanessa's earring very nice. I want!

Vanessa is forcing me to order 10 jars of beer! Trying to act cute man, two old grandma.

Van, what happened to your eyes? Carol prefer posing for the cam than singing. Can't stand her.

Trying to be emotional.

What is Carol doing?

Vanessa high already.

Too busy posing for the cam.

Cleveland is sleepy.

He is very very tired.

What is Carol eating?

Why is my face so fat? WHY?????????????????????

THREE BIG BEAUTIES!

I didn't blot my face! But still look nice. :)

I want to go Pulau Tioman to tan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Must save money. I want to go by this month. Hohohohohoho

KL

2005-10-11T00:01:00.000+08:00

This is an entry full of pictures. ALOT ALOT ALOT OF THEM!!!!!!!! OK, this actually serve as a mini(or not) photo gallery for myself. To remember all the minor/major stuff that happens in my life. Especially this time, which is the first time I went to a foreign country(not very far lah)without my parents.

*The first day,I was in the bus going to KL!

3rd October 2005

Sorry, its unsightly.

Looks sian..NEVER SLEEP WHOLE NIGHT!

EEKKKK...

Arrived at the hotel, Swiss Inn KL. And posed infront of the TV. The hotel is in the middle of Petaling Street loh! So convenient right.

He doesn't look too happy.

Bathroom oso can take picture siah. And I never draw eyebrow.

Too tired already..I'm too bo liao, what also must take pictures.

We unpacked our stuff in the hotel, this is the dressing table. All my skin products.

After resting for a while, we proceeded to Suria KLCC. Took a cab sts us around S$5. The drivers are so friendly, kept on chatting with Cleveland. Think Cleveland too friendly le also, and talkative! I bought a keychain set at petaling street, cleansing milk from loreal, a pink tank top, adidas bag at the boutique and a pair of shorts.

He only bought a pair of bermudas. :)

Cleveland have to calculate all our spendings. Poor thing. But he is seeing the television now.

Time to sleep after bathing! Thats half of my face without make-up. The air-con damn cold loh, but Cleveland refuse to turn it off!

**The second day in KL! 4th Oct 1005

Thats our breakfast! Free buffet breakfast provided by the hotel, but it is at freaking 7am-10am, can't it be abit later? We have to drag our sleepy heads to rush down at 945am! But the rice is indeed delicious, actually got bread, but not full loh, must tk rice!

We went to the shops near Petaling street and bought 3 tiny cloth bags, 2 identical hp pouch, 2 facial masks, 1 hair band and several hair ribbons.

We were outside the inn, going shopping!

We took cab to bukit bintang which is the famous shopping district in KL. Ate at KL plaza, chopstik noodle house! The noodles so nice loh, and cheap too.

Cleveland bought a stalk of rose for me. :>

That's what I ate. The dumplings damn fresh loh the prawn. *SOB CANNOT EAT NOW.

Cleveland ate this!

We went to the nearby shopping malls like Lot10, Starhill(nothing there, all the big brands like LV only) and City Square. Bought a flat espadrilles in green,one slippers, feminine wash, 2 jewellery box ,1 shorts(4 sleeping) and 1 pair of dangling earrings. All at cheap cheap prices! Cleveland bought 3 pairs of Contact lens too, cheaper than in Singapore!

Back in the hotel, trying to show off my new earrings.

Mad woman at the hotel room, door.

You think you can hao lian your yellow armani exchange tee izzit? Yah lah I don't have Armani Exchange apparels, you very li hai!

I'm pretty okie! In the hotel room.

We can't stop taking photos...

We went to Petaling street again to eat Bak Kut Teh! Its the best one I've ever ate. The meat so nice loh!

Cleveland bought 3 black shirts, one beaded bracelet, some lighters for his friends and 1 shades, all at Petaling street. I had one blue sea shell bracelet bought there too! The blue and white checkered one is my pyjamas. :P

***The third day in KL! 5TH OCT 2005

Woke up, had breakfast, slept, and prepared to go out.

We went to Mid Valley Shopping mall. Its a great place. Alot of nice boutiques!

Wear Armani Exchange tee again! Act shuai with shades! But looks cute lah. My mum say he looks like Rain(Korean actor)! Abit loh. He high already I think.

We took LRT IN KL from Mid Valley to Bukit Bintang shopping district. Their train like faster than in Singapore. And also bigger and whiter. :)

His smile looks awkward. Posing for oral B izzit?

Back at the hotel, took pictures of my stuff. 1 handbag I bought at the LRT station, 1 tank top from Island Shop and a Cleo magazine.

Cleveland bought 1 pair of Vans Slip-on at Sungei Wang plaza, two Levis' top, 1 island shop tee same as me one, 1 adidas sweater at S$50 only! Original one ok, at the boutique. And also a
mahjong tile keychain for his friend.

He is trying on his Levis Tee.

Trying on the Adidas Sweater.

We went to Petaling street for dinner. Having ice-lemon tea.

He is very happy.

I'm very hungry, but why is he laughing all the way?

Nice lemon-tea.

Really damn nice! The hot plate beancurd is the best one I've ever tasted! KL really well known for their delicacies. And the curry beef is delicious too. I'm hungry now.

Time for bed..never bath want to sleep!

****The last day at KL! 6th Oct 2005

At Petaling Street. And I never make-up!

Outside the hotel, leaving le, carrying my luggage. *sob, KL, I WILL MIZ YOU!

Trying to be shuai.

Arrived at the Bus terminal at KL, Got alot of antique phones there.

After that we took the Executive bus to Singapore Lavender Street. And end our trip to Kuala Lumpur. :)

2005-10-07T03:34:00.000+08:00

I think Kuala Lumpur is heaven.

Its so nice to shop over there and Malaysians are all so friendly!

I don't feel like coming back to Singapore, but sadly, I don't have enough money to shop anymore. *sob sob*

After reading Xiaxue's blog, about what she encountered in KL, I'm scared stiff. When I shop in the famous Pasar Malam Petaling Street in KL, I don't even dare to get near anybody or walk behind Cleveland. I scared got people attack me from behind. I nearly chua sai when any strangers walk near me. Anyway I'm damn hum ji one, because I'm damn suey, bad things sure happen to me.

Luckily nothing happened! HAHA.

First fuck-up event: I never slept the whole night and get out of my house at 615am to catch the 730am coach to KL. I waited for Cleveland, still missed the bus, took cab which cost us S$12+ to custom and catch the fucking bus. Damn fucking angry, THEY CAN'T WAIT MEH?

Second fuck-up event: We never complete filling up the card and the fucking custom officer sort of shout at Cleveland rudely demanding him to do so. And Cleveland shouted back at him, they nearly get into a fight, except that the officer is in his desk. I was so afraid. Malaysia custom sux. Ok lah, only that particular officer sux. Cleveland complaint to the in-charge. Think they will fire him because it is not the freaking first time he did that to people loh.

Third fuck-up event: The FUCKING COACH DRIVER scolded me?!!? When Cleveland is still in the custom trying to get the chop, I was waiting for him outside the bus. THE coach driver says to me:"Both of you trying to create trouble for me izzit? Why don't wanna get down at first and only do so after I park the bus?" I just said sorry. He sees Cleveland not with me and wanna bully me! He sure don't dare to scold Cleveland one, but I look bully-able I think. Fuck up man siah.

I buy so many things. Spent S$300+. Going to post pictures soon, as a memory for Cleveland and me.

2005-10-02T02:17:00.000+08:00

I'm going to Kuala Lumpur tommorrow at 730am. SO EARLY.

For three nights.

Gotta shop and spent quality time with Cleveland. Hope that we won't quarrel or argue about minor stuff.

Please pray for us, anyone who happens to read this. We are going alone by ourselves and not with any tour.

Dear God,

Please not let us encounter any danger and obstacles(huh) on our journey and in the foreign country. Please also stop any theives from stealing our belongings. He/She is going to be very unlucky because we don't have much in pockets too. I'll bring your double-edged sword along and no evil spirits is going to come near us, I know. Ephesians 6:11-13 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore, take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to with-stand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.

And also, let me find what I wanna buy in the country. Gorgeous bracelets/bangles/necklaces and beautiful espadrilles. I love you. Muackz.

2005-10-01T03:08:00.000+08:00

I just happened to remind myself of the blog that I have very very long ago. But haven been visiting it for like a year or so. After reading, I found that, I cannot remember any of the incidents that I wrote in it. I have some flash backs, but its not very clear.

I can't believe I cannot remember the faces of the people, whom I nearly killed myself for.

My memory is really bad.

But strangely, my heart ache, and tears form in my eyes.

2005-09-30T02:28:00.000+08:00

I guess everybody is blogging about these.

Famous bloggers getting themselves into trouble because of what they wrote in the virtual world. JC students getting suspended in school and also last month(I think) two guys being charged in court because of what they wrote in their 'blogs'.

However, it is not so good when lots are reading your "online diary". It is suppose to be personal and something close to your own heart. A space where you share your views with your close ones or where you could complain all you want. But it isn't a good thing when you started getting involved with the wrong parts of this society.

In short, anything which the public could get their eyes on, there would surely be problems.

For me, it isn't an issue to brood on because not alot reads my blog, so I could write whatever I want. However, for those who are the opposites, have to be careful of what you write. Of course it isn't fair, because your blog is yours and you can type whatever you want. But it is no longer yours, when everybody could read it.

Nobody cares if you writes about how much you hate one religion/race and the reasons in your little notebook where you kept in your home drawer. Now, it is in the web, the internet.

The society could be so cruel at times. But it is also important to get rid of unwanted problems for the authority to control the situation. ZI XIANG MAO DUN!

We students do not know what we have done to have been against the law/school rules. So, can the 'you guan dang ju' tell us?

Sometimes, I really do hope my school could read my blog and get me suspended. I hate my school, I hate Nanyang Polytechnic. I swear I've done my part as a fucking student. But you fucking school hasn't done your fucking part. I think I would have more to complain about when school starts.

2005-09-28T02:33:00.000+08:00

Life is hard. I felt itching to complain.

I hate this three celebrities. To the core, to the bone.

One of them is a Taiwanese or Japanese(fuck, I dunno he from where), the other a Japanese and the last one a korean.

The first one would be Jin Cheng Wu, Takeshi Kaneshiro, the very damn famous actor who went Japan and became more famous.

HIS FACE LOOK LIKE HORSE CAN. I refuse to believe anyone would think he is good looking, when he is obviously not. He could be only like 65/100 for his looks, I don't understand exactly why so many 'people' like him. Especially in Taiwan, females are crazy about him. HE SUCK!

The second one would be Kimura Takuya(mu chun tuo zai). Guys who are dark are suppose to look macho, cool, some sort like beach boys. HE LOOK LIKE CONSTRUCTION WORKER CAN? Those thai workers who came to Singapore to build roads with whatever. I admire XIAO S and also respect DA S. BUT DA S LOVES HIM SO MUCH! He is UGLY LOH...FREAKING UGLY! His acting skills might be good, I don't know. I haven't watched any of his shows before. But he is not good looking ok. I'm so angry when I hear humans say that he is handsome. HE IS NOT!

The last one is Bae Yong Joon. The disgusting Korean actor. I dislike him the most. He is one of the most famous celebrity I've seen so far. CTI Zhong Tian News has been reporting all his whereabouts after he arrive in Taiwan for HALF AN HOUR OR SO! I see the HUGE amount of fans he have, even when he was at the airport. He can't stop smiling and acting friendly. Although he was in Taiwan for 3 days only, he has changed 8 or more sets of clothes! HE THINK HE WHO? VERY HANDSOME IZZIT? HE looks like a perverted uncle with spectacles okie? He is so fuging average looking, but he is so famous. WHY? TELL ME WHY? He act very good meh? I don't know leh, haven't seen his shows before. I wanted to watch April Snow because I think Son Yae Jin is very beautiful. But I don't want to see Bae Yong Joon.

I'm so sorry if their fans get to read this. But I really need to complaint, if not, feelings bottled up can lead to depression.

2005-09-21T15:49:00.000+08:00

Polo Ralph Lauren Sales: You could get any bags at half price with purchase of any apparel.

Cleveland buying a $92 polo tee there. So I can get the tote bag at half price! Which is $118 to $59!!!!!!!!!

The very big Polo Ralph Lauren Plastic bag:

It looks better in person..

I have this fetish for huge and large bags. Whenever I see any big bags in stores, I will become very high and began touching them. I love to carry big and heavy bags because I got alot of things to bring and I could put everything inside. But I end up with hunch-back or high and low shoulders.

Cleveland ask me to start buying handbags. When we see any lady-like handbags in shops, he will persuade me to get one. And I'll always say:" cannot put water bottle loh, buy for what so small can put what????!!!!."

I feel like going for eyelashes implant or extension of eyelashes. I've had enough of brushing them with tons of mascara and coating with repair serum. Especially the lower lashes, WAH LAO THEY ARE SO SHORT AND FEW LOH.

After that go for liposuction, suck out all the excess fats at the tummy and arms. OMG, that will be great man.

But sadly, I don't have the money. :<

I haven been shiting for 3 days already. This is bad. Must drink papaya milk already.

URL

2005-09-20T18:10:00.000+08:00

This is the url for the personality test. Try it! Its very very accurate for me though. :>

Go!

2005-09-16T18:52:00.000+08:00

I've done a personality test and it was all totally true. After reading, I cried.

You feel that everything is going against you and you are worn out and exhausted by all the conflict and quarrelling. You are trying to protect yourself but at the same time you are hiding your feelings, hoping that by so doing, you can avoid exposing yourself to attack. Hopefully this will give you the chance to get on with your life. Nevertheless, you should be very careful to try to avoid stirring up any opposition which might endanger your plans.

You haven't been feeling that great lately. Both physically and mentally you are exhausted. To your best friends, those who know you and love you, it shows. Your self esteem has been reduced almost to a minimum and in order to recover - and recover you will - it is necessary that you get away from it all, even if it be only for a few days.

It is hard for you to accept that your needs and desires are misunderstood by almost everyone within your sphere of influence and there is no one to rely on. Your pent-up emotions and inherent egocentricity make you quick to take offense, but as matters stand you realize that you'll have to make the best of things as they are.

You are experiencing extreme emotional disappointment because it would seem that a particular relationship is no longer running smoothly. You would like to break away from this involvement completely and yet, if this were to happen, then its possible that something very important to you would be lost. You are in a quandary. You are not sure which way to turn. So on the one hand, you would like to free yourself from this attachment altogether, yet on the other, you do not want to lose anything nor risk uncertainty and the possibility of further disappointment. These contradictory and opposing emotions are now causing you considerable stress but you are putting on a brave face - pretending that you don't care.

Be it through unfulfilled emotional requirements, whatever the circumstances you are experiencing considerable stress, be it mental or physical. To your credit you are attempting to escape from this by endeavoring to create a semblance of peace and serenity by refusing to allow yourself to be involved. You have the strength to 'pull through' and all indications are that you will... perhaps sooner than you even believed possible.

2005-09-16T17:44:00.000+08:00

I dislike to blog about my studies. But I'll do that.

Results were released the day before.

I got a C for ICT Application. This is fuck okie. I've done like hell for the two projects and I deserve a C??????????? WTF.

I got a C+ for Entrephreneurship. I should have gotten a D loh! The report was thin in content and sux in quantity. Especially, the financial statements and marketing strategies. OK, THANK GOD I GOT A C+.

I got a B for Human Resource Management. And I cannot believe my eyes. Staring at the computer screen. I refused to acknowledge the alphabet B infront of my eyes. For one moment, I felt like stabbing the marker of my exam paper to death. I've to repent to God about this. WTF! I got a 42/50 for my first ICA. And I interviewed the Vice-president of Canon company for the project. I studied like fuck for the examination and I've checked all the answers, they are mostly correct. AND I GOTTEN a B for HRM??????????????? It must have been the damn project. I expected at least an A for this module. God, why?

I got a B for Applied Marketing Research. I hate the tutor. She always have to be sarcastic when I was late for her tutorial. Anyway, B is acceptable. I didn't really spent much effort in the projects. And I got a 36/50 for the first ICA and it totally sux for making silly mistakes in it. I think I attended only 2 of this module's lectures in the whole semester.

I got a B+ for Retail Store Management. Silly mistakes count in the first group project, and I think the tutor failed us in that. I hate this. Anyway, I spent alot of effort in the individual report and also the second group project. And it is a B+. The world is unfair.

I got a B+ for Personal Selling and Negotiation Skills. This is a extremely boring subject, and the project totally sux to the core. I had absolutely no idea how did I scrape through the project. The exam paper is diffcult, two of the questions I'm not sure. I think I deserve a B+.

This is a semester that I fared the best in my entire Poly life. Until now, than I've realised the importance of my studies. I hope I could continue studying in the next 3 or more years. Unfortunately, I don't think that is going to happen.

I think this semester, I've really done my 80% best already. I'm not happy at my results at all. There are some regrets.
I didn't:

1) do enough researches for my ICT projects.
2) studied for my ICT quizes.
3) do a good financial statement and flourish content in the Entrephreneurship project.
4) studied hard enough for Human Resource ICA1 2 get full marks.
5) do a organisation chart and find out company's profile of Canon in Singapore for the HR project.
6) ask for tutor's opinion and checked with her for the Applied Marketing project.
7) check for mistakes in my AMR ICA1 test.
8) in the process of doing the project, check with tutor for mistakes for Retail Store Management.
9) do a trial close in my presentation of Personal Selling.
10) send all reports to my friend in NUS for editing.
11) spend all my time on the computer and sleeps less than 4 hours for my projects and also studying.

There are so many things that I can do but did not do.

This is so sad.

2005-09-14T02:57:00.000+08:00

Your Hidden Talent

You are both very knowledgeable and creative.
You tend to be full of new ideas and potential - big potential.
Ideas like yours could change the world, if you build them.
As long as you don't stop working on your dreams, you'll get there.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

Your Career Type: Artistic

You are expressive, original, and independent.
Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.

You would make an excellent:

Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor
Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer
Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer
Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor

The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.

What's Your Ideal Career?

How You Life Your Life

You tend to deprive yourself of things you crave, for your own good.
You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations.
You prefer a variety of friends and tend to change friends quickly.
Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

I don't deprive myself of things I crave loh!

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want.
And that's marriage - with the right person.
You're serious about settling down some time soon.
Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth.

In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.

You'd like to your lover to think you are flexible and ready for anything!

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is low. Even if you're tempted, you'd try hard not to do it.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

erm

2005-09-11T11:32:00.000+08:00

I'm doing this because I'm bored waiting for Cleveland to bang gang.

Se7en things that scare me:
1. Cockcroaches(to the core), lizards, spiders, disgusting insects to be general.
2. Television turn off by itself in the middle of the night when I am watching it alone.
3. Cleveland serves NS.
4. Presentation infront of more than 2 persons.
5. The fact that my parents will leave me one day. Nvm, I might leave first.
6. Wrinkles, fats and loss of firmness in skin when I gets older.
7. No money to spend.

Se7en things I like the most about me:
1. My obvious double eyelid.
2. My small eyeball but big eyes.
3. My tanned complexion.
4. I could attract Cleveland.
5. My Chinese language proficiency.
6. My passion for my dream(writer and studies in China).
7. My strong desire for materialist stuff which enables me to improve myself and earn big money.

Se7en most important things in my room:
1. All my cosmetics.
2. All my skincare products.
3. The mirror.
4. All my Levis' Jeans.
5. All Jay Chou's CDs/albums/books.
6. All letters and cards given by Cleveland, secondly, friends too.
7. Library books.

Se7en random facts about me:
1. I cry at the slightest touching sight. (be it movies, dramas or books)
2. I hate to see old people selling tissues or other merchandises on the street, especially orchard. Because I must control my tears.
3. The darkest part on my body is my toes.
4. I will always bite the straw when drinking with one.
5. I can stay at home, not stepping out of the house at all. For 5 continous days, watching TV, eat when my Mum/Cleveland buys for me and sleeps.
6. I'm addicted to tanning.
7. I have severe nose allergy, sneeze at least 30 times a day. Which 10 times is when I wake up.

Se7en things I plan to do before I die:
1. Get married and have at least 2 kids.
2. Write and publish at least one book, that is be a writer.
3. Own at least one huge apartment and three cars(BMW, MERC, Lamborghini).
4. Earn a collection of branded bags(LV, Prada, Gucci, ChristianDior, Chanel, Tod's).
5. Suport my parents.
6. Realise Cleveland's ambition, help him in his business.
7. Educate children well.

Se7en things I can do:
1. Do cross-stitch.
2. Pass my examinations.
3. Make-up.
4. Be an administrator in companies.
5. I can watch TV, eat, talk on the phone, do tutorial and on the fan at the same time.
6. Walk from YCK mrt to my school without losing my way.
7. Swim.

Se7en things I can't do:
1. Get full marks for my exams.
2. Catch cockcroaches.
3. Ignore the television controller.
4. Stop visiting libraries.
5. Not lose my way, in school or anywhere else.
6. Go out without make-up on(excepts when swimming or tanning)
7. Not put mask or exfolicate in a week.

Se7en things I say the most:
1. Fucker.
2. Huh?
3. Bu yao sheng qi lah.
4. I ate already, at home now, Chao Wei will buy for me. (in chinese)
5. Beer beer.(=Cleveland)
6. I won't be late.
7. Ni bian le.

Se7en celeb crushes:
1. Duncan.(The one in seven sword and formula 17)
2. Stephen Chow.
3. Zhou Jie Lun.
4. Shu Qi. (Taiwanese Actress, she is not from HK)
5. Lee Dong-gun. (Korean actor in My boyfriend is type b and sweet18)
6. Ahn Jae Wook. (An Zai Xu, korean actor)
7. The little white dragon in 7pm show-Ci Zhi Cheng long.

Se7en people I'll love to see doing this (for various different reasons):
1. Mei Yin.
2. Zhou Jie Lun.
3. Cleveland.
4. Vanessa Teo.
5. Carol Oh.
6. Papa.
7. Sheila.

oh

2005-09-10T17:48:00.000+08:00

I might be starting work this coming Monday. They haven called me yet, the boss is busy with work, and I can wait.

I felt lazy and slagging too much at home. This is a bad sign.

I was reading my old diary the night before. And I felt 'WOW'.

Tracing back to the days in Secondary Three. I was still back in church and on fire for God. All excited about serving in the ministry and helping out in the cell group. God has never once disappoint me at all. He gave me all I wanted, and revive all lost relationships. Of course, all bad companies were eliminated by Him too.

Reading the old diary, I recalled the people whom I used to love alot. Now, I couldn't even remember their faces. Only the names in the diary brought back some memories. I was so naive and childish, and stupid in the past.

Those friends and guys whom hurt me and made me cry every single day. I even look down on myself when reading. Surprisingly, I don't hate/dislike them. I thank them for all they had taught me. Now, I'm stronger than before.

I used to write words like:"God, please let me have wisdom and strength to solve everything. I will change and become a better person. I never want to stay in my comfort zone anymore. Transform my life right now."

Now, I read my bible everyday, I know God is with me.

I used to suffer alot under Satan's control. All the people I thought I had loved before, they were all wronged. Now God sent Cleveland, I deserve him after all the endurance I had in the past. Thank God, for him, I made it at last.

God also gave me my best friend when I was at my lowest point. Although it was only for that moment, I'm thankful for her already. Cleveland is with me too, praise God for him.

Right now, I stayed at home alone, read alone, watch TV alone, going to work alone, eat alone and go to school alone. I don't need anyone of you anymore. I can be alone. And I will learn to live alone. Cleveland can't be with me always, he have to work and serve NS. I have to work and study alone too.

I'm not lonely, but I can be alone.

2005-08-24T01:22:00.000+08:00

TITLE: I ME AND MYSELF

Superstar

2005-08-22T17:57:00.000+08:00

FUCK! WHY IS EVERYBODY PARANOID ABOUT THE CHANNEL U SUPERSTAR COMPETITION?

Yah, Junyang is out, so what. Fucking so what? I don't even noe him. DO YOU DO YOU?

I came to know that he is from Hai die. And he still can sing off pitch at times. What is wrong with him?

Please don't come my house and hang pig head if you are his fan. Heng my blog not alot of people read. I can complain all I want.

Oh, have I mentioned that he looks like an alien? Short and skinny looking guy, how can he ever become a superstar. Those good ones are eliminated long ago LOH!

I was cheering at the top of my lungs when he is eliminated. HAHAHAHA.

I was talking to one of my ex classmate, he msged me on msn and asked if I wanted to buy any mattress. OF ALL THINGS MATTRESS? I Told him to fuck off and get lost. Of course not, but I said I was not interested at all.

He started asking me if I watched the Superstar show, and that he is a loyal supporter of kelly. FUCK, his msn display picture is Kelly. Oh no, I closed the window, cannot cut and paste the conversation here.

He begins his preaching:" Kelly sing so well, I bet she is the ultimate winner man, of the contract. She is so damn pretty loh, look at her eyes, so seductive."

I cut in and typed to him:" Are you deaf? Li Wei Song said that her pitch was drifting all over the place and she can't even sing on beat. Shi Xin hui can sing million times better than her loh."

He says:" But I hear her sing very well leh,that xinhui so fat, how can compete with kelly."

I typed:" YAH, YOU AND YOUR KELLY. UR KELLY SUCKS BIG TIME I SWEAR TO GOD. She sing like frog ok. Even me, who is partially deaf could hear that she sings not on beat and sometimes off pitch. Anyway, I don't care!"

Kelly and Shi Xin hui are both li wei song students.

My ex classmate is very angry now and he refuses to reply me.

I'm an outsider and shouldn't comment on all these. I understand that the contestants are very hardworking and willing to learn. But people are just too OVER, they think that the one on TV is their gf/bf.

Only Wei Lian has no teacher offering him guidance, so he is considered very good already. I'm not supporting him okie, just a neutral saying.

Go and queue for their qian chang hui and buy their CDs okie. If not, they can't get the lame contract and win the contest which uses SMSes as a way to determine, if they are fit to be a superstar.

Life

2005-08-14T01:48:00.000+08:00

Just had my last paper yesterday and I felt aimless.

Usually, I'll be happy and excited for the holidays. But I isn't.

I'M GOING TO HAVE FUCKING 11 WEEKS HOLIDAYS AND I BLOODY HATE NYP TO THE CORE.

GOD, WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE IN THIS SCHOOL. WHY CAN'T I GET INTO TP? TP IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND CAN WEAR SLIPPERS YOU KNOW?????????????

What am I gotta do in this 11 weeks? I wanted to hunt for a job and I felt alone. I should be going to attachment now, don't have to trouble about anything. But fuck, my life suck.

And one of my classmate had gone to HK, FUCK I think I can't even go Malaysia.

I've been wondering why friends tend to drift apart from me. Doing some self-reflection though. I think I've been spending efforts in reviving friendships what.

I've had great friends before, even a best friend. But, with some pondering over this issue, actually they had not been with me at all.

My definition of a best friend:

- Able to talk on the phone at least an hour a week.

- Meet at least two times in a month, not in school.

- Listens to me, I listens to her, as well as understand each other.

- Understand my problems.

- Loves my boyfriend like she loves me.

- Most of all, loves me more each day.

I don't have a friend like that. Whenever I leaves a college, pri sch or sec sch, there are none of the mates whom I still keeps in contact regularly. Heng I still have Cleveland to be my friend too. If not I would have died.

And helloo Sim Shu Xiang, you love your friends more than anything what. You need them as much as you need the TV. WAH LAO THAT IS LIKE HELL LOT YOU NEED THEM!

I got give birthday presents to them what, I got ask them how are their studies, I even ask them if they free to hang out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm just hard to get along. Maybe becoz of these few reasons:

- I'm too pretty, they are afraid to be the not so pretty one standing next to me.

- I'm snobbish and bai4 jia1(what the fuck is this called in english), keeps loving branded stuff, spend money and wears thick make-up.

- I'm boring and there is nothing to talk about with me.

- I'm too tanned, cannot see me in the dark. And they might be afraid to be mistaken as a malay when going out with me.

- They think skin cancer is contagious. Because I tan alot and they assume I already contracted skin cancer.

- They always think I have alot of friends or with my Cleveland and got no time for them.

- I look fierce and angry with my big eyes. Especially with my chubby face, they might be afraid people would think they bought their goldfish out.

I'm just a lonely freak with no friends. *sob sob.

If you know me, and got no friends either, or want to be friends with me from now on, please call me.

I sound pathetic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aim in this 11 weeks:

1) Read at least 10 books and write reports about the story. Understand every single word and check the dictionary.

2) Love Cleveland more.

3) Get a job by next month.

4) Tidy and clean my God damn room.

5) Read the damn newspaper and watch news on tv everyday.

I don't think I'm going to do the last one.

2005-08-13T00:47:00.000+08:00

When lesson starts at 9am, I wake up at 8am and leave my house at 830am. 5 minutes to brush my teeth and wash my face..5 minutes to change and pack my bag..5 minutes to apply toner, moisturiser and wait for it to absorb..10 minutes to make-up and 5 minutes to adjust and look at my reflection. My friend ask me how can my make-up be done in 10 minutes: Here is how..

STEP ONE Firstly, apply M.A.C studio perfect foundation all over face using a clean sponge. Lighter under the eyes(delicate skin) and forehead(got pimples will look thick).

M.A.C Its $74 including case.

Inside of the foundation.

My used finish BobbiBrown oil free even compact foundation. Its quite good, and cheaper than M.A.C but I prefer M.A.C because it gives a matte finish. Cost me $66.

My used finished Clinique foundation. Stop lying to me that you are fragrance-free. Got a weird smell loh. And it is below expectations. Gives too heavy coverage. Cost me $70 I think.

STEP TWO Apply eye-pro concealor on eyes and than eye colour/shadow.

White eye colour from Shu uemura. Close to $30, cannot remember.

Another eye colour, the tube one is from MADINA, in bronze colour.

STEP THREE Apply lash repair base and than Mascara.

Mine from red earth. Time to change, I'm considering to buy from Shu Uemura. Asian eyes should get Jet black mascara because the brown ones contain green undertone, not suitable for black eyed Asian.

STEP FOUR Apply sheertoned shimmer blusher from M.A.C on upper cheekbone and than bronzing powder from M.A.C all over face lightly, heavier on the cheeks.

Bronzing Powder From M.A.C.

My bronzing powder, going finished.

Remember to use clean brushes. Mine from Body shop and Red Earth. Change them once in half a year and wash with brush cleanser monthly.

Sheertoned shimmer blush from M.A.C

STEP FIVE Apply lip balm than lip glass/gloss.

Mine from Body Shop.

Than done le!

2005-08-12T00:56:00.000+08:00

2005-08-07T18:56:00.000+08:00

I bumped into Kinwai on Friday at Cineleisure. I was going to watch Stealth. Fuck, the picture is so blur. And it was because my USB port is spoiled and I can't upload my pictures. Can only download from the site. So fucking angry.

Stealth is nice. Just as what Xiao S said. Totally exciting to the core, all the planes flying in the air. DUH

2005-08-07T18:37:00.000+08:00

There is this new band coming out from no where.

But I think their songs are nice. Towards style of soft rock and hip rock music. I've been listening to Xin Yue Tuan and I think Dong Jing still got some brushing up to do.

2005亚洲新指标-动静乐团《相信未来》7/8全亚洲发行，动静乐团首张创作大碟《相信未来》结合了“古典与流行”音乐新元素、“华丽与摇滚”音乐结构，整张专辑更是词曲、制作一手包办，号称为“2005东方华丽摇滚乐团”不只如此，动静乐团首张创作大碟《相信未来》，唱片公司更是大手笔的将宣传预算开出了无上限条件外，连“黑松沙士”在之前听过动静乐团的第一波主打歌《相信未来》，都力邀动静乐团来帮忙创作“黑松沙士的年度广告主题曲”，因为动静乐团是年轻的创做新乐团，厂商也想藉由这样的鼓励创作机会，让更多的年轻人更有属於自己创作发挥空间，而这首动静乐团所创作的黑松年度广告主题曲《梦想战场》，一推出就引起“网路”反应极高寻问度，厂商还下了高达“3000万的广告预算”强力播送，让动静乐团打了一剂强心针，团员每个人都信心满满蓄势待发。

I've heard the first song in their album, Xiang Xin Wei Lai. Its fantastic.

The rock music and loud base is good.

Not sure if they will survive because not much audience like this kinda music.

They'll only listen to Bon Jovi or Aerosmith for Rock music.........english music is still better to *. But we are chinese..ok?

2005-08-05T00:56:00.000+08:00

Xiao S, engaged le, last friday. She is so fair loh.

I can only say her fiancee's nose is very oily AND BIG.

藝人小S徐熙娣（右二）二十九日身著復古文定婚紗，與準夫婿許雅鈞一同召開記者會宣布喜訊，出席喜宴的姊姊與好友們在致祝福辭時，都忍不住喜極而泣。

藝人小S徐熙娣二十九日身著復古文定婚紗，與準夫婿許雅鈞一同召開記者會宣布喜訊，在媒體要求下大方擁吻，充分展現新人大膽的行事風格。

经痛, 写

2005-08-03T03:48:00.000+08:00

TITLE: 经痛, 写

这一年下来, 发觉自己爱上了水.

朋友爱叫我 "金鱼", 因为我的肥脸和大眼睛. 应该想过, 我要当一只鱼. 任何鱼, 能在海里, 自 "游" , 的鱼.

会自由自在, 不像现状, 被处在一瓶被污染的水, 的小鱼. 被束缚, 被控制, 被约束.

规定自己, 每两个星期, 至少要游过一次泳. 一次, 游五次奥林匹克池来回.

好喜欢在水里, 大力挥动手脚, 让自己前进的感觉. 很奇妙. 原来我也可以, 有一丝像鱼儿.

水, 不停地环绕我, 包围我的每一寸肌肤. 头发, 变湿. 水珠会在头浮出水面时, 出现在脸上. 不怕手指变皱, 也不怕大太阳, 只怕路人见到我的面额. 没化妆, 就像七夜怪谈里, 长头发的贞子一样, 比她更见不得人.

游泳能让我暂时忘却烦恼, 在那一刻, 变成一只鱼. 当然, 游泳也能强身健体, 最重要还是可以减肥, 嗮黑. 我要黑, 我要古铜色肌肤.

好希望, 那一刻能变成永恒.

TIPS

2005-07-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

* 成為一個領導者：如何不用攻擊和引起憤怒的方法去改變一個人

1. 指正別人錯誤的方法
2. 如何批評，才不致引起怨忿
3. 先講你自己的錯誤
4. 沒人喜歡受指使
5. 保留他人的顏面
6. 如何激勵別人走向成功之道　
7. 給他一個願意全力追求的美譽
8. 讓錯誤看起來容易改正
9. 讓他們高高興興去做
10. 凡事皆以真誠的讚賞與感謝為前提
11. 以間接的語句指出他人的錯敨
12. 先說自己錯在那裡，然後再批評別人
13. 用問問題來取代直接的要求
14. 一定要顧到他人的面子
15. 只要稍有改進即給予讚賞（嘉勉要誠懇，讚美要大方）
16. 給他一個他願意全力追求的美譽
17. 多多鼓勵，讓他覺得這過錯很容易改正
18. 使他覺得，照你的意思去做會很開心

:P

2005-07-31T23:34:00.000+08:00

Jay Chou

2005-07-23T01:26:00.000+08:00

I watched The Island. Its so damn nice.

The main actress is beautiful and sexy.

Story, unique and special. I love it.

I don't mind having a clone of myself. She will be my best friend.

This is darn funny. Jay should be proud of this song.

Go

I FELT LIKE DYING

2005-07-15T00:10:00.000+08:00

I hate this world.

I lost my hp again in school. AND I CANNOT REMEMBER WHERE ON EARTH I MISPLACED IT. It looked like this:

Anybody seen it? In school or something?

My hp 7610 was soaked in water and sent to nokia for repair few weeks ago. So my mum bought this samsung phone for my temporary use.

And I lost it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mum did not scold me, she just say:"shui bian ni bah" -_- She is used to it, I guess she would not buy me any phones anymore.

If my dad know about this, he would say:"ni zhen shi jiao shen guan yang, bei cong huai le she me dou hui bu jian! Qu shi ba!"

It has been 1 year since I lost a hp, I think I'll lose one every year.

When I was in secondary one, I lost my pager and was screaming all over the place. So I paged that person who got my pager, when he called back, he said he is free only next day to return me. I shouted over the phone:"Faster return me my god damn pager right now for god sake I want it now!"

This is my retribution now.

I CURSED THAT PERSON WHO HAS GOTTEN MY HANDPHONE. HOPE HIS HANDS ROT AND FACE TORN. AHHHHHHH!

I've lost around 8 mobile phones before. And nobody returned me at all. I don't think anybody believed me.

I'm having depression. *SOB SOB*

SCHOOL

2005-07-13T01:19:00.000+08:00

My skin is in bad condition. I'm collapsing soon.

Never been so pressurized by school work before.

Monday I had my ICT presentation and the tutor says I kept looking at my notes, although the content is good, I have no presentation skills.

Tuesday I had my RSM presentation and the tutor says we interpreted the question wrongly and told us to redo again.

FUCK SHE SUGGESTED MUSTAFA IN THE GUIDELINES AND SHE SAY IT IS WRONG NOW????????????????

I've to redo again I'm so sad!!!!

I'm under severe mental torment.

But I don't felt tired at all although want to give up at times.

Not like last time when I'm in church. The tasks are taxing me and I felt emotionally and mentally torturing.

I've did my best already.

I'm loving singing now. It makes me forget my stress, pressure and troubles. Of course must train on pitching and vocal. With the help of en yi. :>

Sometimes, life can be so wu nai(ANY KIND SOULS CAN TELL ME WHAT IS THIS CALLED IN ENGLISH)

1:23AM

2005-07-11T01:23:00.000+08:00

Later I'm going to school at 830am, I've got a lesson at 9am.

Troubled about my damn personal selling project. It totally sux.

I felt very empty all of a sudden, and I miss my dad.

Although I missed him, I don't dare to call him. Because I don't know what to say over the phone.

Is he happy with his new life or is he still sad. He is always the opposite of me in terms of our character.

I could still remember the first time he cried infront of me. The 1st time I see tears in his eyes. Is when he talks about his mum, my grandma. He never cry, never shown any depression infront of me before. He is always strong, always fierce and stern. But he always tells me about his life, how much he went through and how he survive all that. I couldn't be like him, but I want to be like him.

Whenever I thought of him, tears flow without fail. I missed him badly. He is the one who hold my hands when I first learnt how to walk and taught me how to speak my first word. I'm obedient to his teachings. He told me he never sits at the corner seat in mrt with the sentence above"pls give this seat to some1 who needs it more than u do" when I was like ten years old. I never sitted there b4 till now. He don't know about this.

He told me not to on the computer and the television at the same time. He told me never leave used plates or cups infront of the tv. He told me to dry my hands at the basin after washing them and not drip water all over the place. He told me Chinese should use chopsticks, now, I hate to use fork. He told me to exercise more often because it will let my nose becomes better. So I learnt to love swimming now.

Now, he is not with me. I will still do all that. Because I'm used to it.

He teaches me Chinese, force me to learnt Chinese poems, memorise proverbs.

I love Chinese now, love writing essays and reading novels.

However, my English stinks.

I was very sad and depressed for my failed relationships with guys in the past. Although I still remember the pain, but I forget them soon. Why till now, it has been 3 years, I still cries when I think about my dad.

I used to hate him for what he has done, he choose to leave my mum and me. Its a wound that stays forever in my heart, it never heals. NEVER. But I still loves him.

He is happy with what he is doing, I'm happy to see him happy.

Mr & Mrs Smith..Fantastic 4

2005-07-09T00:15:00.000+08:00

Watched Mr and Mrs Smith few weeks ago.

The movie is average, brad pitt is okie. No idea why females scream at his face so often. The show talks about trust in couple. Its so god damn important.

OH MY GOSH angelina jolie is so damn gorgeous. She is so SEXY. I love her lips and tattoo. Her body art is great. I want to get a second tattoo on my lower back like her dragon soon. Trying to save up some money for that.

SHE IS SO STUNNING.

I watched Fantastic 4 just now, alot of special effects and its below expectation. I thought it'll be a fantastic movie but it isn't loh. But Chris Evans(Human Torch) is so shuai and muscular! Jessica Alba is pretty too..i love her HONEY. its one of my favourite movie.

Chris Evans is charming!

I'm crying now

2005-06-29T00:43:00.000+08:00

Got him his present today.

But hasn't gave him, supposedly to give him on his birthday.

He kept asking me what is it. I told him its something I made, might be edible. He looks disappointed. Maybe he don't mean it, but I sense it. Maybe he was joking, but I was heartbroken. Maybe....maybe.....

Why must there be so many guessing. The fact is, I don't know what are his true feelings. He's unhappy most of the time. So am I.

Facing him sitting in the food court, my tears yearn to flow, but I tolerated.

I'm tired most of the time, tired of the world and this world and that world.

Looking at the reports, exams and projects, I felt lost and miserable.

Even before sleep, I was thinking of the interview with a manager I'm suppose to perform.

If its really so tiring, maybe it could be replaced with happiness while with him.

Yeah

2005-06-29T00:41:00.000+08:00

I got back my Rsm ICA 1 results, I got 76/100!!!!

At first I'm devastated because I've spend around 80% of my effort doing it. I should have get at least 80/100. But after 3 hours of thinking, I thought at least I got 76 not 67.........DUH

Another good news, I got 41.5/50 for my HRM written test!!!!!!

Actually I'm quite sad, I didn't get at least a 45/50, it would have give me an 9/10 percent of module overall!!!!!!!

WHY IS GOD SO UNFAIR? WHY CAN'T I GET FULL MARKS? I STUDIED HARD FOR THEM, I SWEAR(OK CANNOT SWEAR ITS A SIN).

I HATE THIS BLOODY WORLD!!!!!!!!!
I feel like crying.

Well, at least I didn't fail. WAH LAO OF COURSE WON'T FAIL I GOT STUDY OK.

Erm, I'm hungry..how good if I get to eat chicken baked rice now.

I'm fucking angry

2005-06-27T17:09:00.000+08:00

I'M PISSED AT MYSELF CAN SOMEONE STAB ME TO DEATH.

I have a quiz today, its 10% of the module

And i didn't know until i reach sch, so i studied for it like 15 minutes. While my frens never studied at all, they also last minute reach school than know about the quiz.

But they got 17/24 and 19/24. But I got 15/24.

WHAT THE FUCK

The quiz is done on computer during lab lesson under supervision of the tutor, so unable to cheat.

Yah I know the questions are all randomize and everybody won't get exactly same questions.

But helllllloooooooooooo, am I too suey or what?? The previous quiz also I only get 13/25.

The previous test I had, I just got back the results today. I studied hard for it but because of one careless mistake I made, I lost 6 marks. And I got 36/50.

Actually can get 42/50 one, just because I see one word wrongly and made a super stupid mistake I got 36/50.

What is the world coming into! I hate this world! I hate this world! I hate this world! I don't wanna study anymore!

I'm depressed! I'm not the material to study........................................

My friends told me, passed can already lah.

HEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO I STUDIED LIKE FUCK!..okie lah not like fuck but moderately hard enough...

Should I just quit school and start learning hair-dressing.

Its not even my interest lah, should go China study.

AIYAH I'M ANGRY......................WHY AM I SO STUPID, CAN'T I be like the intelligent people in my class get full marks for every module.

ARGGGGGGGGGh

Batam

2005-06-26T23:16:00.000+08:00

Batam is fun. This is the first time I went to another country other than Malaysia.

I nearly vomitted on the ferry. Bought some stuff.

One Polo Tee from Ralph Lauren which costs S$25. Original one costs $80 in Singapore, and its orginal boutique in Batam because I asked the expert by my side.

One Polo Tee from a boutique featuring Gu Tian Le and Zhang Bo Zi. Costs S$14.

One Adidas top costs S$10. Its is S$30+ IN sINGAPORE! At a mega mall in Batam, the boutique of Adidas.

One batik print bag, their culture! Costs S$7

Two mugs, I gave one to Meiyin, I thought she is Gemini but actually she is Taurus. I'm a baddie.

He just bought a top from Adidas. If there is Armani Exchange or Calvin Klein, I think he will buy the whole store.

InitialD is beyond expectation, I thought it should be fabulous. I'm being tricked.

But JayChou is cool, and shuai.

His overall acting is average, but the scene when he cries, is very fake. Could see he tried very hard to be sad but failed.

He better stick to composing music.

BATAM!!

2005-06-25T00:57:00.000+08:00

OMG i'M GOING Batam later in the morning and I'm so excited!!!!!!!!!!

Okie its not Paris, Not Japan, Not Korea and not America.

I heard from him the stuff there cost much lower and he bought so many Raphl Lauren Tee from there!!!!!!!!

I had enough of Far East Plaza, Zara, Guess, TopShop, ProjectShop, Heeren, BEBE, POA ...

No lah actually not yet but I'm had enough of Singapore actually.

Monday school is starting..I'm depressed........

Fuck

2005-06-23T03:03:00.000+08:00

I feel that my future is in a bleak(izzit even spelled like that).

My English sucks as usual, how to survive in this world? I can't go America to do business. Oh God please help me.

My best friend is going to get her A' levels cert soon and going to study Chinese in univerisity.

I've done enough research and know what exactly course I wanted to enroll in. But, I'm not in the top 5% or even 10% in my course of study. So, I'm not eligible for the degree.

I swear to whoever is not reading this or even God, this is sad.

I knew I wanted to live in China, and pursue my dreams there. But I couldn't bear to let my mum live in Singapore alone, all by herself. She would be worried sick about me too. My mum would cry herself to sleep whenever I leave house for vacation with friends, thats like 1 or 2 days only. I will have to let her live alone and I got no siblings. She is afraid of lizards, scared of dark also. I'm sleeping with her on the same bed every night, she won't be used to it.

My dad got his wife to take care of him but my mum do not have. And him, its impossible to leave him.

YAH YAH after my diploma think I'll still go if I'm selfish enough. I'm tired, want to sleep.

life

2005-06-14T03:29:00.000+08:00

I'm doing this terrible applied marketing research report, and I think I'm addicted to doing projects.

Can't help but complain in this er blog even when nobody is reading.

Can I say I really love him just because I cried while waiting for him.

Standing at city hall mrt station, for 3 whole hours. He said he was at bugis heading to where I am. Calling him for more than 80 times, I thought he was at Woodlands custom queuing for his turn to chop the passport(now I think just ownself scan, more unemployment coming).

I cried, drop tears. At the mrt station. I think I felt pathetic for myself. Because I've never wanted to wait for a person more than 15 minutes.

Help. Help. I mean HELP.

Every time in Orchard mrt near entrance to Wisma, I saw this old woman playing an instrument with a small broken bowl infront of her, my nose felt sour.

Thousands of people passed by her but few dropped money in the bowl. I tried closing my eyes while crossing to avoid crying in public. But it doesn't help, the music sounded sad. Until one day I managed to dropped some money in the bowl. I felt, wow, what if I were to be like her in future. Its impossible because I don't know any instrument. DUH

I was watching superstar on channel U last week and heard the blind guy singing the chinese song by xiong tian ping. And my eyes were flooded with tears.

Ren jian chu chu you wen qing. The earth anywhere also have warmth feeling. LOLZ.

Put pictures

2005-06-10T23:55:00.000+08:00

I think I'm spoiling my own reputation